The top three finishers of Big Brother 15 were no doubt a surprise — who watching the first week would have thought the unlikable Spencer, floater Andy, and desperate clown GinaMarie would make it past the likes of schemers Helen, Elissa, and Nick? But the fact that one of these three reviled reality show contestants — all of whom have delivered comments either homophobic, racist, or misogynistic, or all of the above — walked home with thousands of dollars in their pockets after the easiest final Head of Household competitions in recent memory is more disappointing than knowing terrible people are now richer than us. (A challenge asking two of the three to place the contestants in order of eviction? My cat could even nail that one.)
But which houseguest went home with the most money of all? (Not America's Favorite Player, Elissa, who walked home with $25,000.) Following Spencer's eviction, a brief discussion with former houseguests about the racial tensions in the house, and a final plea from GinaMarie (who proved to be as terrible a public speaker as a person) and Andy to our evicted contestants, Andy picked up the final $500,000 prize with a vote of 7-2. And regardless of how you feel about this year's winner (lesser of two evils, perhaps?), it's undeniable his final performance outweighed his competitor — GinaMarie, who appeared to blame Italians for her offensive comments throughout the season, was visibly shaken by the jury's very, very predictable questions. (Like the obvious and necessary-to-ask, "What was your biggest move in the house?")
So, sorry, GinaMarie — let's pageant-wave the beauty competition coordinator goodbye, and try to forget the fact that with the $50,000 second-place prize, she made much, much more money than we did today. Now can we put these cock-a-roaches behind us and look forward to a (hopefully) sunnier Big Brother 16 ?