Kate Middleton and I have a lot of things in common: We share the same nickname, we're both the oldest of three children, we were born on the same day (albeit nine years apart), we're both married to Prince William, and most importantly, we both love us some authentic, New York pizza. Now, I know this only because Us Weekly alerted the general public of Kate Middleton's pizza "craving." Apparently, not only did she grab a slice while she was in New York, she had a whole shindig in her hotel room dedicated to the stuff. As Us reports, she ordered "three very specific pizzas" including "a spicy sausage pizza (with no mushroom) and a prosciutto "di Fabio" pizza (with no sliced tomatoes)."
I know. It was rude of her to not invite us. But with the time constraints put upon her and the thorough security check that would undoubtedly be exacted, perhaps it was for the best.
But that doesn't mean we can't dream, though, does it? Because I'm fairly certain a pizza party with the Duchess of Cambridge herself would be hella fun. I'm picturing a 13 Going on 30 "Love Is a Battlefield" lip-syncing scene and a Princess Diaries 2 mattress-surfing sleepover hybrid of sorts — mainly because I was brought up on the notion that all princesses should be part Jennifer Garner and part Anne Hathaway. Okay, so maybe the pizza party wouldn't be quite so wild, but here is how I think it'd go:
Calling room service for an oscillating fan while waiting for the pizza to arrive
To have a windblown hair contest to make Tyra proud.
Looking through Kate's iPhone for pictures of Prince George that would make perfect memes
Equal parts chub and sass.
Hangrily smack-talking the in-laws
Seriously, how many times does she have to say that Christmas is with HER family this year?!
Shouting "huzzah!" as the pizza delivery man arrives
It's cool, she's pregnant. Food is exciting. I'm not pregnant and still think food is that exciting.
Eating the pizza *gasp* with her hands because THIS IS AMERICA
...with her pinky up, of course. She's not uncivilized.
Prank-calling Prince William while he's in a stuffy meeting and describing the pizza's cheesy goodness in painstaking detail
That's what love is about, isn't it?
Utter annoyance when asked if she was going to finish the rest of the pie by herself
Yes, obviously. It would be wasteful and peasant-like not to.
A ceremonial dance to commemorate the true beauty of New York: the food
But mostly the pizza.
Images: Giphy (9)