Those Benedict Cumberbatch 'Star Wars' Rumors Stem From The Fact That He's An Alien
Benedict Cumberbatch fans, known lovingly as Cumberbitches the world over, have their collective panties in a twist over the Benedict Cumberbatch Star Wars rumors that have been floating across the world wide Web. Unfortunately, much like the last time we worked ourselves into a lather over whether or not he was going to be in Star Trek , we're in a tizzy over the idea that our favorite detective/outer space super-human psycho killer could possibly enter into one of the most-loved franchises of all time.
I could easily make the absolutely insane prediction that we're not going to know that he'll star in Star Wars until Benedict damn well decides we should, but doing so would draw away from the mystery, the otherworldliness of the rumor as it is.
Why is Benedict always rumored to be taking roles in which he plays aliens? Also, why does he always play aliens? If you're thinking "Oh, but he doesn't ALWAYS play aliens," well... you're a bit wrong. Khan was an alien, Sherlock Holmes acts like an alien, and Julian Assange looks like an alien, so case closed. Also, just look at him.
Now look at this:
It seems a little convenient that voila, Benedict Cumberbatch arrives on the Hollywood scene, and what do ya know, there's a new remake of Star Wars (despite the last one being filmed years ago) that may or may not have a role for him. Iiiinteresting, and definitely more than coincidence.
Personally? I think Benedict Cumberbatch must be an alien. Because how else would he continually be so awesome and mysterious and alien-y if he wasn't? How would he keep landing roles in alien-themed franchises? Goodness knows Hollywood doesn't like to recycle the same stars from franchise to franchise, how on earth could he do it if he wasn't, in fact, and extra terrestrial? Oh the mystery of it all! And oh, the possibilities. If Benedict Cumberbatch was a confirmed alien, we could be sure of a few distinct scenarios.
1) He'd definitely, 100 percent be in the new Star Wars movie. Aliens playing aliens is a definite must. Having humans playing aliens would be very non-PC.
2) It would open up an entire discussion about alien-human relationships. Benedict Cumberbatch has clearly captured the female public's imagination (translation: sexual fantasies) so we'd have to start considering ethical ways to go about interspecies lovin'.
3) Alien-human relations would be the new feminism. Human relations would become old hat.
4) The documentary sector would positively erupt with new releases, re-releases, and largely falsified accounts of how Benedict Cumberbatch came to be the first alien to openly live on our planet. It would be awesome.
So more or less, Benedict Cumberbatch could very possibly be an otherworldly creature hidden beneath a very attractive human shell. And everything about him would be even more glorious if he was. Is this just a fan-theory? Or am I also an alien who happens to be foreseeing the future. You'll never know. Just like you'll never know whether or not our boy Benedict is going to be in the new Star Wars until he decides to make it known. Dun DUN DUNNN.