Ryan Lochte Gets Some Sad News

On the extremely off-chance you're one of the 11 people worldwide who actually watched Olympic gold medalist Ryan Lochte's E! network series, What Would Ryan Lochte Do?, I have some really bad news for you. Lochte's reality show was canceled due to low ratings and the small insignificant fact that pretty much no one cares about Ryan Lochte.

Sure, he was a wild n' crazy guy during the Olympics, with his grill and his 'tude and that face, but like... sorry buddy, the Olympics are over, and if ratings are anything to go by, it's fairly clear that swimmers post-Olympics are little more than a 30 Rock cameo gone by. Sorry we're not sorry.

The good news is that Lochte will probably emerge and re-emerge consistently over the next decade in multiple sad attempts to revamp his acting/reality career, ending with a drinking problem and a decidedly not-swimmer-body beer gut.

Or he will end up reinventing himself, and by the end of next calendar year, we will all be accidentally murmuring his name in our sleep and then spending our waking hours dreaming idly of his beautiful body. There's no way to know.

All I do know is that the last Olympic swimmer to enter the public consciousness ended up getting lambasted for daring to smoke the marijuana, and that ain't a promising start or end. Best of luck in the future Ryan Lochte, should you and my TV screen ever meet again.