Ah, Kim Kardashian. It appears that the arguably most famous of the Kardashian Klan doesn't actually need to post nude in Paper Magazine in order to break the Internet. The mother of North West got a lot of flack on Monday for a selfie she posted to her Instagram page, which featured her making her trademark duck-lipped pose in front of a brick wall while holding her baby — who was cropped out of the photograph. Naturally, the Internet raged against Terrible Mother Kim K, whose endless vanity knows no bounds because she's more concerned about her cheekbones than showing us another picture of her toddler. If I sound like I'm being a little sarcastic, it's because I am — and so was the reality show star. On Monday, Kardashian defended herself against the North West selfie backlash, and she took it even less seriously than I did.
"Wait is this really news that I posted a selfie and cropped my daughter out? LOL," Kardashian tweeted Monday afternoon, likely after she took her daily look at the roundup of news in her own Google alert. (Never forget that in 2012, Karsdashian was caught tracking her own Google alert.) "Her eyes were closed and I was feeling my look! Can I live?!?!"
No, Kim K, you cannot. The fact of the matter is that I was being facetious before. The most famous member of the Kardashian Klan is, in fact, North West, so cropping her out of your selfies is a crime so heinous that I can't even look at you anymore. To be honest, I'd much rather look at a picture of Nori with her eyes closed than have to look at the 700th Kardashian selfie you can find on Kim K's Instagram page, but even I don't think that Kardashian deserves the severity of the backlash that was rolled out against her on Monday.
It seems like people are actively looking for reasons to decry her as the Worst Mother in the World and — well, it's not like we didn't already know that vanity is Kardashian's greatest sin. (See, again, the thing about the Google alerts.) It seems pretty ludicrous for people to point fingers at her when there are few among us who can say we didn't crop people out of a photograph that we looked particularly good in. For a while, I had a profile picture from my graduation that cropped someone out of the photo. The real eyebrow-raising moment comes from the fact that it is her own child that she cropped out, but, hey, the kid's eyes were closed. Can she live?!?!
There. Now that we've all gotten our morning dose of North West, can we put this selfie scandal behind us already? It's not the first nor will it be the last time that Kardashian makes headlines for doing something that seems so vain and self-absorbed that we have to laugh about it. It doesn't mean she's not a talented business mogul, it doesn't mean she's a bad mother, and it certainly doesn't mean she's a bad person. You do you, Kim K. You do you.