New Year's Eve Expectations Versus Reality, Because Watching the Ball Drop Is Never Really As Fun As You Think It Will Be

Sparkly dresses, champagne flutes, kissing at the stroke of midnight... oh hell yes. It's almost New Year's Eve, which means it's time to talk New Year's Eve expectations versus reality. NYE is a bittersweet day as we bid adieu to one year and welcome in the next with open arms. It's a time to reflect on the 12 months prior, and set for ourselves hopes and dreams for the 12 months coming. It is, in its very own way, a fantastical day. Or at least it should be. But the truth of the matter is, with every glass of champagne comes one more Advil the morning after, and as for New Year's resolutions actually lasting longer than a week? Well, don't hold your breath.

I hate to be a total buzz kill, but if there's one thing I've learned over the years, it's to lower your standards when it comes to the holidays — this one in particular. I know that sounds super depressing. It's not that NYE isn't amazing, it's just that if you put too much pressure on the day, it may end up working against you. So am I saying to hole up for the night and go to bed at 9 p.m.? No way! Get dressed up, drink some bubbly, countdown the clock... just don't expect the world to change overnight, because it won't. OK, enough lecturing. Gif on.

1. Expectation: Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve will be worth watching every minute of.

Reality: It will be exactly the same as it was last year, and the year before that, and the year before that...

2. Expectation: You'll finally get a chance to wear the full-on sequin dress of your dreams, because this is your year to sparkle.

Reality: Who has time to shop for themselves during the holidays? You'll show up sans sparkles. Or you'll stay at home wearing sweatpants. Which is fine, I guess, but definitely not sparkly.

3. Expectation: You'll meet the love of your life at your best friend's party.

Reality: Half the attendees won't make it to midnight, and the ones who do are just... ugh.

4. Expectation: You'll get to kiss some hot guy at the stroke of midnight.

Reality: Everyone will have showed up with a significant other, and you'll just have to fist bump it with friends.

5. Expectation: You'll drink allllll the champagne, because that seems like the best idea ever.

Reality: You'll drink allllll the champagne, and then the next morning you'll wonder why it's not spelled cham-pain, and you will cry.

6. Expectation: You'll attend a giant city event in hopes of a dramatic countdown.

Reality: You'll barely be able to see the main attraction, your face will be partially frozen, and there will be no public restroom in sight.

7. Expectation: At least you'll have dozens of cute pics from the night to post all over Facebook the next day. Like!

Reality: You'll remember why it's never a good idea to drink, selfie, and post... and then solemnly begin the untagging process.

8. Expectation: You'll make amazing New Year's resolutions that will change your life.

Reality: Within four hours you'll have already broken one of them. Oh well... maybe next year will be your year.

9. Expectation: You'll have had the most memorable, wild night of your life.

Reality: You'll stay at home with grandma, but that doesn't mean it wasn't memorable.

Happy 2015, y'all.

Images: Anthony Quintano/Flickr, Giphy (18)