Like 2013 before it, 2k14 was quite the eventful year for Kimberly Noel Kardashian West, Queen of the Selfie, Duchess of Mobile Gameshire, and the Lady of Calabasas. She launched a mega-successful mobile app, got married, went to — ACK. What am I doing? I'm going to spoil the entire slideshow. You want to revisit the most maaaayj Kim Kardashian moments of 2014? Get clickin', my friend!
NOTE: If you scream "WHO CARES?!" every time you see a story about someone from the Kardashian-Jenner brood on your computer screen/grocery store magazine racks/the E! News ticker, this slideshow might not be for you. Well, unless you get a kick out of screaming "WHO CARES?!" If that's the case, then you're going to have a blast, you goblin.
Oh, and to answer your question: I care. I care so very much.
The Vienna Ball Disaster
Man, was that ever a big ol’ mess. Kim was paid $500K to go to the Vienna Ball on the arm of Austrian businessman Richard Lugner. While in attendance, she was accosted by a guy in blackface and asked by another guy if she’d dance with him if the venue played “N—-s In Vienna”.
Not surprisingly, Kim was ready to get the hell out of that place. (How do I know? Uh, because every moment was caught by the Keeping Up with the Kardashians cameras, duh.)
The Met Ball
She didn’t wear a couch this year!
Took the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge
'2 Broke Girls'
Kim made a kameo on the popular situation comedy.
Image: 2 Broke Girls/YouTube
The Fashion Icon Group Costume
Kim, North, and their buddies dressed up like Anna Wintour, Grace Coddington, Karl Lagerfeld, and André Leon Talley. Take note, everyone. This group costume RULES.
Try as they might, Kim K. and Paper couldn’t not break the Internet.
Image: Paper Magazine
#2 Onscreen Character of the Year
TIME magazine named Kardashian’s avatar in the Kim Kardashian: Hollywood mobile game the number two most influential onscreen character of the year. (Elsa from Frozen was number one, natch.)
"Can I live?!?!"
Kim cut daughter North out of a picture. Kim posted said edited picture on Instagram. The Internet reacted. And Kim reacted to the Internet’s reaction:
“Wait is this really news that I posted a selfie & cropped my daughter out? LOL,” she tweeted on Dec. 15. “Her eyes were closed and I was feeling my look! Can I live?!?!”
It’s my favorite scandal of the decade.