43 Times John Boehner Looked Like He Just Buried a Dead Body

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One is a 20- or 30-something investment banker working on Wall Street; the other is the 65-year-old Speaker of the United States House of Representatives. While the former moonlights as a serial killer, it's unclear what the other does during his off hours. And yeah, the one may be a fictional character created by author Bret Easton Ellis, and the other is John Boehner, but when you really think about it, he and Patrick Bateman are basically the same person. John Boehner is Patrick Bateman. OK, maybe he just really, really reminds me of Patrick Bateman. They're both rich, white men in positions of power. They both have that sort of stoic, slightly sociopathic, dead-behind-the-eyes look about them. And as gross as this is for me to say, they both have the chiseled features and piercing blue eyes of a blue-blooded American. So, you see, American Psycho could have totally been written about a young John Boehner. And if Ellis ever wanted to write a sequel to his infamous novel, he should have Patrick Bateman change career paths and get into politics, maybe get elected to Congress? He'd certainly have a pretty good muse. To prove my theory, here are 43 times real-life Patrick Bateman inspiration John Boehner looked like he just buried a dead body.

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