Book Suggestions for Newsmakers

It's been a week of big news around the world. We've got a few book recommendations for headline makers when they have a chance to read up.

The House voted 217-210 to cut funds for food stamps by $39 billion. To those 217 Republicans, read all of Dickens's works, because you're a Bleak House that wants to damn all the Oliver Twists of the world. I can't say I ever had Great Expectations for you, of course, especially with that weasel Boehner at the helm, but I'm not worried. Our Mutual Friend Obama will veto that nonsense.

In an interview for Salon, author James Patterson expressed his frustration when celebrities in general and Justin Bieber in particular express how much they hate reading: "Give me a break, Justin. Wake the hell up." Patterson's referring to an interview Bieber conducted last year in which he was all, "I've been able to travel the world. At school, usually you have to do a lot of writing and reading. I'm really not into that stuff." ...!] Patterson, who donated $1 million to independent bookstores in an effort to support "bookstores, libraries, and school libraries" urges that reading must be made important to students of all ages and of all income levels. Yes. Bieber did read The Cat in the Hat on YouTube, which I'd link to, but I don't care to attract any more hits for him, because we're enemies. Bieber, if you're out there, another Seuss book you should read is Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are? Because you are really lucky and really dumb!

Pope Francis : Ratzinger :: Obama : Bush. Mr. Pope, you are getting me as jazzed up about the Catholic faith as when I was excitedly puked lasagna on my First Communion dress at age 8! No longer do I see every the popeship as a role for a nasty Bossypants.