A personal hiatus has left her chilled out and zen, and if The Voice judge Christina Aguilera's few sound-bites are anything to go by, we might have a whole new Xtina on our hands. It's unclear how a nice Christina will play out in the judging chairs during Season 5 because, after all, one of the best parts of past seasons was watching her duke it out with her frenemy Adam Levine. But if Christina's gone all Dalai Lama on us, what are we to do?
I watch The Voice partially because I care about the burgeoning careers of young singers, but mostly because I just like to watch Adam Levine get riled up. Being real, I can't imagine the cruel and empty world that a balanced and relaxed Christina Aguilera will leave behind. No more Adam digs. No more sassy head nods. Nothing.
However, someone will have to be snarky to get ratings, so where does that leave us? Does this mean Cee-Lo is going to have start beef with Blake Shelton? Because I can't really see that happening. Where will we get our sass and Xtinatude? WHERE? Will we have a judge-contestant bitch off? Is that even feasible? GOD DAMMIT I CAN ONLY WATCH SO MANY SOULFUL RENDITIONS OF BRUNO MARS SONGS BEFORE I CRAVE DRAMA.
The only way to make it work this season is for one of these scenarios to play out:
1) Because she's no longer fighting with Adam, Christina and the Maroon 5 frontman now make eyes at each other, cuddle, and generally make everyone uncomfortable with how lovey they are. Behati Prinsloo-who?
2) Blake Shelton begins drinking on the set while the show is happening. His team loses, but we all win because we get an entire season of weird drunk Blake moments. Hellllll yeah.
3) They bring on a new mystery judge who has more than enough 'tude to go around, resulting in playful fighting with not one, not two, but THREE judges. WHO WILL IT BE. Who could fill the massive shoes that Christina Aguilera's sass left behind?
Stay tuned folks. Here's hoping all that time with her adorable son and visiting Rwanda doesn't leave Christina Aguilera too relaxed.