Christmas comes but once a year, you guys. And the best part about the Christmas season is using that very excuse to do all kinds of things you shouldn't, in excess — like only eat candy for breakfast on Christmas morning. Next year is a whole 365 days away, so you only have so much time to spend money you don't have, binge on sweet and delicious cocktails, and eat all the candy you can get your festive mitts on.
Pretty soon, that twinkly tree will be tossed in the garbage. Then candy canes will join candy corn in the hibernation station where all uneaten seasonal candy waits to be called on. That ugly sweater will return to the dusty corner of your closet from which it came. And everyone will forget all the important lessons we learned from the spread of Christmas cheer and will go back to being just as complain-y and jaded as they were before Thanksgiving. This is the time to really live it up. Since Christmas Day is just around the corner, here are all the reasons to eat only candy on Christmas morning. Feel free to print this out and give it to your parents as an argument worth defending. And seriously, just eat all the candy.
1. Because it's Christmas.
And at Christmas, you indulge.
2. Because it's what Santa wants.
Why else would there be so many chocolate-shaped Santas in the world?
3. Because wasted candy is just a tragedy.
Lend a hand, do your part, and eat the candy.
4. Because it's what Buddy the Elf would do.
Elves like to stick to the four major food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns, and SYRUP.
5. Because at this point, your body is conditioned to expect regular intervals of sugar.
You've been shoveling that artificial sweetness into your body all month. Now, if you don't give it what it wants, it will FREAK OUT.
6. Because next week you can make all of your annual "eat healthy" resolutions.
But that's next week. Next week you'll do better. Until then, live in the now.
7. Because why not?
You've worked hard this year. You've done pretty much everything you set out to do. Here is your reward.
8. Because you can.
You're an adult. You no longer have to eat a plate of veggies before dessert is allowed.
9. Because YOLO.
Eventually your doctor will tell you to grow up and start taking supplements and add fiber and reduce salt, blah blah blah. You won't be able to do this forever. So, YOLO.