Nicki Minaj in High School Acting Class is Everything You Want Her To Be & More — VIDEO

STOP whatever work you're pretending to do at this moment, because I require your undivided attention. It's imperative that you view the following video of Nicki Minaj in high school acting class, because it is everything you wanted in a "before they were famous" video: an adorably fresh-faced mega star, Lifetime movie-ready dialogue about securing custody of a baby, the hurling of appliances. GAHHH!! It's EVERYTHING!!!

The clip shows an early aughts Nicki when she was just Onika, a scrappy young acting student attending LaGuardia High, one of New York's best-known performing arts high schools. Not to spoil this glory for you, but Nicki is EXACTLY who you'd imagine she would have been in her teenage years. Committed, headstrong, and awesomely/destructively passionate.

She's so deeply immersed in her character that she hurls a phone at her scene partner in the midst of a performed argument. Like, chucks it HARD. Afterwards, her teacher steps in to caution the students about getting carried away. With total sincerity, Nicki goes "Did I hit you with the phone?" WAIT. Back it up here a sec. Her artistic devotion literally causes her to go BLIND in the midst of the scene. ACTING!! *Flourish of the hand*

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Another thing... Can we talk about the nickname that this National Geographic-style British narrator give to Nicki. "Angry phone girl?!?!"

Let's run down all of the reasons why this video makes your day infinitely better. One: after-school special pulpy dialogue. Two: the knowledge that we now have of Nicki's dynamic with her high school teachers. Three: the fact that Nicki is so awesomely in the zone. So in the zone, in fact, that she develops a bit of artistic amnesia and goes HAM on the props. Even if that momentary amnesia wasn't really respecting the space, this is totally the kind of teen I imagined Nicki to be. It's tremendously satisfying to confirm my personality bias, and only makes me love her more.