Breakups are never fun, and if your girlfriend or boyfriend meant anything to you, the end of your relationship will likely not be easy to get over. Whether you're leaving the relationship or you’re the one being left, chances are that going through a breakup will really shake up your world. I have been through a few of my own, including a very public one, and while they were never fun or easy, they were never the end of the world either.
Thinking about my experiences, as well as those of some of my friends, I've learned some reliable ways to get over the past and get excited about the future. Here are six tips for getting over an ex.
1) Vent a little
While there is definitely a time limit on this, it's never good to hang onto baggage or anything you need/want to get off your chest when trying to get over a breakup. So whether it's by writing a letter or having that one last conversation with the ex, getting what you have to say out in the open can be a great start to moving on.
One important thing to remember here is that this is about venting as a means to moving forward, not venting as a means to win him or her back. Honestly, in the history of breakups, how many letters or conversations really won anyone back? My guess is not many. So if you're going into this thinking you might say the perfect thing to change their mind, you're probably wasting your time.
2) Lie a little
I'm kidding...kind of. If you're going through a rough breakup, it's normal to feel pretty low. That being said, reminding yourself and those around you that you're down in the dumps isn't going to help you get over anything. Tell yourself that you're going to be fine, that life is full of things to look forward to. When people ask how you're doing, say "I'm great," and say it with conviction.
The truth is, your life isn't as crappy as it feels during a breakup, and the more you tell yourself and others around you that life is pretty good, the more that will be reflected in how you really feel. Remain upbeat.
3) Stop reminiscing about how much you loved Sundays with your ex
Or about anything you enjoyed doing with your ex. I know it's hard to do — it's so natural to be nostalgic about your little routines and traditions and romantic experiences, and to embellish all the things you enjoyed together. But honestly, your ex isn't the only one who loves Netflix marathons, lazy weekends, laughing, and cuddling. So the sooner you get over your ex the sooner you can find someone else to watch an Orange Is the New Black marathon with.
If you're going to reminisce about anything, start remembering things that kind of pissed you off about your ex when you were dating. The stuff he or she didn't do with you or the things that just drove you crazy. My guess is that, if you really try, that list can be long too.
4) Take some time for yourself
Whether it's by getting back into shape, taking the photography class you always talked about, or reconnecting with a few friends that you may have neglected while spending time with Mr. or Ms. Wrong, it's time to start taking advantage of your newfound free time. Chances are there are some new experiences to be had and personal growth to be gained when you focus more on yourself.*
* If your ex dumped you because you're incredibly selfish..this might backfire.
5) When you start dating again don't force it.
Dating can be fun... but it can also be exhausting, so you need to be in the right frame of mind in order to enjoy it. Bad dates are bound to happen from time to time, and hopefully when they do you can laugh about it with your friends — but nothing sets you back more than a terrible date that makes you glorify your past relationship again. You will know you're ready when you stop thinking about how much you miss your ex, and when you enjoy doing things on your own again.
6) When all else fails, just keep watch Forgetting Sara Marshall over and over
I am mean seriously, have you seen this movie? If there is one flick that provides endless amounts of laughter and helps you put some things into perspective, it's this one.