The 16 Emotional Stages of Getting A Clarisonic For the First Time
I've had my Clarisonic Mia for nearly two years now (happy early anniversary, xo) and every single day that I use it in the shower I try not to think about how empty my life was before this little magic wand came into it. Or how empty my beauty cabinet was. A Clarisonic is essentially a facial cleansing brush that uses sonic technology to brush your skin over 300 times a minute — resulting in the cleanest, softest face of your life on the regular. Seriously. I used to work at a spa and one of the perks was a monthly facial, but the Clarisonic makes my skin feel even better than it did then. Having an electric brush that's sole purpose is to clean your face makes me feel like a princess, and I'm not sorry about it. I wanted a Clarisonic long before it was mine, as so often happens in many of the other great love stories out there. Since the day I first knew that I needed it in my life, attaining and using a Clarisonic has been a total emotional roller coaster. I've laughed. I've cried. I've washed my face. Well, I did those three things in relation to the little miracle worker, anyway — and I don't regret a single moment. So whether you received one as a gift at the holidays or you're saving up to take extra care of your skin in the new year, here's what you need to be emotionally prepared for:
“It’s a brush? For my face? Does that even feel good? Why would I spend over a hundred dollars on a brush for my face? Well, mayyybbeee…”
2. LEARNING ABOUT SCIENCE
Once you’re interested, you try and find out how it works, but mostly why it works. If you’re really going to do this thing, you’re going to do your research, which means lots of reading about sonic technology, oscillation, and skin elasticity. Look at you, pretty and smart.
3. CONVINCING YOURSELF IT'S WORTH IT
You know that you want one and feel sufficiently satisfied by the scientific evidence. But can you really justify dropping that much money on a replacement for the free things at the ends of your arms you already use to wash your face?
4. BUYING IT
With the conviction of a global warming denier, you believe you need this in your life and you’re ready to do this thing. You might march right down to Sephora and buy it to spare the wait, but you’re probably going to e-order it online at midnight. Pressing "check out" is such a rush!
5. WAITING FOR IT TO COME
5 to 7 business days feels like a cruel eternity.
6. OPENING IT
When it finally touches your hands and you can see it and you caress its beautiful curves, that is simply a beautiful moment.
7. WAITING FOR IT TO CHARGE
It’s in your grubby little paws and you can’t wait for your life to change and to get it on your face. You read the instruction manual carefully. You have to charge it for eight hours?! IS THERE NO GOD?!
8. USING IT FOR THE FIRST TIME
It feels...weird. Not like you expected. Wait, it actually feels pretty good! Yeah, this feels nice! Like a million little kisses from angels all over your face. No, wait — now it feels weird again.
9. WANTING TO HAVE IT ON YOUR FACE ALL THE TIME
After two or three uses you're used to the feeling and you actually start to crave the oscillation. You begin to wonder if it would be socially acceptable to brush your face on the subway. I mean, people clip their fingernails on there so this can't be worse than that.
10. NEVER WANTING TO STOP TOUCHING YOUR FACE
You can tell someone has a Clarisonic if they're obsessively touching their face. This is a 100 percent a true statement. You're torn between wanting to feel how soft and amazing your skin is and knowing that touching it constantly adds far too much dirt and oil. Then you realize you can just clean it off with your Clarisonic. The circle of life.
11. HATING THAT THE DEEP CLEANSING MADE YOU BREAK OUT
This doesn't happen to everyone, but it happens to some — the deep cleaning brings all the yuck deep in your pores to the surface and you break out. It's a necessary evil, but it doesn't mean you have to like it.
12. QUESTIONING EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE
The brush that's supposed to make you the glowiest gal in all the land just caused zitpocalypse on your face. Has everything else you've ever known to be true been a lie? Does the universe hate you?
13. WAKING UP WITH PERFECT SKIN AGAIN
Regardless of your shaken faith, you stick to the course and keep brushing. You say a little prayer and light a Diptyque candle to the skin gods. Then, on a day that seems as normal as any other, you wake up and are rewarded with clear, glowing, smooth skin once more.
14. FEELING LIKE YOU'RE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CREATURE ON THE PLANET
You're pretty sure everyone's staring at how amazing your complexion is. The sun is shining down special rays of golden light on your glowy face. Everything is Clarisonic and nothing hurts.
15. HAVING TO BUY A NEW BRUSH HEAD THREE MONTHS LATER
You wake up one day and things aren't the same as they used to be. You wonder what you could have done wrong. Oh, you didn't change the brush head. You skim the Sephora website, looking for the perfect way to make it up to your BFF(brush friend forever). A double pack costs how much?!
16. REMEMBERING IT'S TOTALLY WORTH IT BECAUSE YOU'RE FLAWLESS
You caress your cheek and remember all of the good your Clarisonic has brought into your life and how dewy and perfect your skin is.