The '50 Shades of Grey' Wine Is Here to Just Make Everything Worse

If you're looking for the perfect present to get someone you hate, let me present: The worst book tie-in product to go along with the worst book in probably ever, Fifty Shades of Grey. According to The Braiser, someone out there in the world thought it was a good idea to create and produce Fifty Shades of Grey-inspired wine, so now it's available to purchase to your heart's desire for a mere $17.99 a bottle.

There are two bottles to choose from, so you have a bit of a choice when deciding what to buy the person you hate for Christmas: A red wine titled "Red Satin," which is a 2009 vintage blend of Petite Sirah, and a white wine titled "White Silk" that is a 2012 vintage blend of Gewürztraminer and Sauvignon Blanc. 

On the wine's website, book author E.L. James explains the wine so well that I don't even have to make fun of it — she does all the work for me.

Wine plays an important role in Fifty Shades of Grey, adding to the sensuality that pervades a number of encounters between the characters.  I’ve always had a penchant for good wine, so combining two of my passions to blend Red Satin and White Silk was a natural extension of the Fifty Shades trilogy.  I hope all of you curl up with a glass as you enjoy the romance between Anastasia and Christian.

Bleh. No thank you, E.L. James.

Image: FiftyShadesWine.com

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