Blake Lively & Ryan Reynolds Welcome Their First Child in What Was Likely the Most Glamorous Birth in History — REPORT

NEW YORK, NY - OCTOBER 20: Actress Blake Lively (L) and Ryan Reynolds attend Angel Ball 2014 hosted by Gabrielle's Angel Foundation at Cipriani Wall Street on October 20, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Gabrielle's Angel Foundation)
Source: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

Hear ye, hear ye! People of Earth, the planet's most unjustly good-looking couple (perhaps reaching ALIEN levels of attractiveness) has just welcomed their first child. Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds reportedly had a baby and now the world has another kid of Blue Ivy levels to make the rest of us go, "Oh come on, that's just not fair." His jawline and her skin? THAT'S JUST CRUEL TO ALL FUTURE BABIES! We don't actually know whether or not the Blyan/Rake offspring is a boy or a girl or an actual alien sent down to Earth to make us all worship its beauty. Either way, Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds must be beaming.

Now when it comes to, well, everything...we know celebrities aren't JUST LIKE US. In fact, I can almost guarantee that Lively's experience of having that angelic little pile of goo and cheeks wasn't anything like what they showed us in high school health class. She probably gave birth while doing a Soul Cycle class in a pool of kombucha while Ryan Reynolds flew around on a hover craft and high fived all of the nurses. You know, just another casual celebrity birth. 

Want to know what it was like in the delivery room with Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds? It went a little something like this:

When the Water Broke Blake was Like...

Yay!

And Ryan was Like...

You 'lil sass monster!

When Contractions Started Blake Was Like...

I heard these things hurt, but this doesn't hurt at all! WHEE!

And Ryan Was Like...

Because "Push It" by Salt N Pepa was playing.

When the Baby Was Crowning Blake Was Like...

Ouch. Maybe.

And Ryan Was Like...

I shouldn't have looked.

When the Baby Arrived, Blake Was Like...

And Ryan Was Like...

Yes, that is correct, you weirdly handsome humanoid.

Images: pretty-lonely-girlhoyabetches;no-one-tells-me-who-i-lovejrgifs;notanotherteenrpfairytaleassassininvinciblewanderer

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