Robin Williams Tried To Buy A Dildo As Mrs. Doubtfire. HELLO!

Serious question: Can you think of anything more terrifying than the image of Robin Williams in drag, wielding a double-ended dildo? I mean, it was frightening enough seeing him done up and doing that terrifying voice (something about men doing lady voices really flips me out), but Robin Williams' Reddit confession that he went, as Mrs. Doubtfire, to a sex shop? Too much. It's just way too much. (I know this relates to an entirely different movie, but use the words "Robin Williams" and "double-ended dildo" in the same sentence and my eyes immediately glaze over with nightmarish visions of Williams, crazed and wearing the clown nose and shoes he wore in Patch Adams, trying to smack me over the head with a giant dildo. Not good.)

It's not anyone's fault — William's anecdote from his Mrs. Doubtfire days was funny, unexpected, and honest, but any statement, literally any, that involves a dragged up Robin Williams and a dildo will never have my vote. NEVER, DO YOU HEAR ME?!?!? Laugh, think about how funny it is, whatever you want to do, but I'll be the voice of reason in the back of your head, reminding you that whatever Williams/Mrs. Doubtfire would've done with that dildo would've been beyond scarring, worse than clowns and creepy noises and unlit roads. So funny as it all was, it's for the best that the brave soul behind the counter recognized Williams before it was too late. Remember, folks, Robin Williams as Mrs. Doubtfire? Tolerable. Robin Williams as Mrs. Doubtfire, armed with a potentially life-threatening sex toy? Not even remotely tolerable. Trust me on this one.

Mrs. Featherbottom at a sex shop, on the other hand...

Image: 20th Century Fox