Nick Offerman Compares Marriage To a Fart

In honor of tonight's sure-to-be-epic Parks and Recreation premiere, we don't have any new promos for you, sadly. Instead, though, we do have these quotes from Playboy 's new joint interview with Megan Mullaly and Nick Offerman — Tammy 2 and Ron Swansom themselves. If you're not aware, Mullaly and Offerman have been married since 2003, and are pretty much the most adorable couple ever. I always assumed playing that dynamic must make things interesting at home, and, judging by the way Offerman describes his marriage to Mullaly, I was completely right: According to her, it's just like flatulence.

"I wish I had a huge fart saved up to describe our love: silent but deadly," Offerman explained. "Love is patient. Love is kind." How... sweet. OK.

But wait, there's more!

"I have a definition of real love... it's when she lets me put my mouth on her 'Pandora's box.' One time she even let me do it after I had shaved the top of my head bald and grown a big beard for a play." You're welcome for those mental images.

"Besides loving his male parts, I also think he's a great man," Mullaly added.

Is this the most perfect marriage in Hollywood? Probably. Hopefully, Tammy 2 will make another appearance in this season of Parks and Recreation, which kicks off tonight with a one-hour premiere at 8 PM on NBC.