It's kind of amazing how far some people will go to achieve a shapely backside. Even though the nipple had some big moments in 2014, it was the definitely the year of the butt in my opinion, and it looks like that trend is going to continue into the new year. Miami salon Sculpting Goddess has a signature vacuum treatment that's been gaining traction beyond Florida, using suction cups to "lift the buttocks and pump them out." Huh? Why does my butt have to be pumped out? I'm confused.
The salon claims that the treatment breaks down fat and cellulite, eliminates toxins, and restores the skin's natural elasticity. It also works to "soften skin for those with butt shots." (Side note: I had to google what "butt shots" were, and it's just another term for butt injections. Now those are some Kim Kardashian-esque backsides.) They're also supposedly permanent. The 45-minute treatment costs $60, and about four to six sessions are needed for ultimate bootylicious satisfaction.
Call me judge-y, but the website looks a little suspect when you get into it — it's a bit of a nightmare for a grammar freak like me. And if I'm going to have suction cups attached to my rear end, I'd like the whole process to feel legit. It all seems a little off to me, so I think I'll be sticking to my squats. They're free, I don't have to get myself to Miami, and the results are much more gratifying when you've worked for them, don't you think? Plus, those suction cup marks are throwing me off big-time.