In college, group projects are always, unequivocally terrible. It's like a law of the universe that group projects will challenge your will to live and pursue higher education. It’s an unending pain to get everyone organized, and someone inevitably fails to do his or her share of the work, and then the rest of the group has to do it, and it’s all generally really, profoundly annoying. But I would bet that none of your partners—be they the irritatingly enthusiastic overachiever or the completely uninvolved slacker dude—can hold a candle to the complete creepster that Redditor Amazing_Azalea got assigned to work with in her management class. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, Joel, The Worst Partner of All Time.
Just what is it about this guy that makes him so excruciatingly creepy? Is it the fact that he’s using a class project as a supplement for his Tinder account? Is it his spasmodic, seemingly random use of “(lol)”? Is it his obsessive assurance that he is “100% pure German”? Is it his compulsive repetition of the word “mama”? Is it his sweet declaration that the woman he’s hitting on is not a “total slut”? Or is it, perhaps, his awkward attempt at erotica, in which he declares “I’m already love with you” [sic] to a girl he’s never met? That’s undoubtedly the nail in the “You Are The Creepiest Guy Ever” coffin, but he was going for the gold from the beginning here. Congrats.
Scroll down to read Joel’s failed email-seduction in all its cringe-inducing, er, glory.
Ladies, he's 100 percent German! Did you see that? Did you? One hundred percent. Joel is not kidding around here. He is German. The MOST German. (lol)
In all seriousness, this is kind of sweet. He doesn't think you're a total slut! Not like the girls he usually brings home, who are complete ho-bags.(lol) And he loves his mama. He loves her so, so much. How cute is that?
Cute like a serial killer.(lol)
Also, your phone sucks.
This last bit of erotic fantasy is so stunning that anything I might add would mar its perfection, so I will leave it be, except to add two points:
1. Amazing_Azalea (aka, Carol) handled this situation perfectly by going to her professor and refusing to work with this guy. Props to you, lady, for keeping your cool in the face of such overwhelming douchiness.
2. Ewwwww. Just Eww.
Images: NBC; Imgur (3); Giphy (2)