23 Things Way More Likely To Kill You Than Weed (Watch Out For Those Beards!)

There are few things in this world that get an unreasonably bad rap the way marijuana does. If you grew up in the '80s and '90s, then you've probably seen those wonderfully absurd anti-weed PSAs. They told us everything from "you'll run someone over in your car if you smoke weed" to "you'll get so lazy you'll melt into your couch" (I do that anyway) to "your dog will disapprove of you" (not if you give him bacon). But the truth is that, sure, marijuana can be habit-forming and seriously impede things like studying for your history final or an ultimate Frisbee game, but when it comes to dangerous substances, it's pretty low on the list. From virtually any other drug to obesity and gun violence, there are countless substances, health risks, and other things that are significantly more dangerous — and deadly — than the ganj.To put it into perspective, 600,000 people die every year in the U.S. from heart disease. Comparably ... zero people die from marijuana overdose every year in the U.S. Wait, what's that? Nobody has ever died from a marijuana overdose, ever? So, yeah, not comparable at all. I feel silly even making that comparison. But just to drive the point home, here are 24 things that are more likely to kill you than marijuana, no matter how bizarre they may sound.

Vending Machines

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Vending machines kill an average of 13 people every year.

Water Intoxication

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In 2007, a California woman died of water intoxication trying to win a Nintendo Wii as part of a contest called “Hold Your Wee For a Wii.”

Shark Attack

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Though they’re rare, at less than one shark attack per every two years in the U.S., that’s still more than zero.

Cockroach

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In 2012, a man from West Palm Beach, Florida, died from choking on cockroaches after a cockroach eating contest. The ironic part is that he had won.

Robots

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In 1979, a man died in the first recorded death by robot when a robot arm hit him in the head at the Ford Motor Co. plant.

Segways

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Ironically, the owner of the Segway company died in 2010 when he drove his off a cliff.

Wool

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In 1987, the owner of a wool mill fell into one of his machines and died after he suffocated in 800 yards of wool.

Hippos

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About 2,900 people are killed by hippos each year in Africa. Because they’re hungry, we hear.

Shopping

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Since 2006, there have been seven reported deaths stemmed from Black Friday shopping.

Nonstop Dancing

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Back in 1518, hundreds of people in Strasbourg, France, started dancing for no apparent reason and many didn’t stop until they died weeks later. The strangest part is that this wasn’t even the first dance epidemic in Europe.

Falling Out of Bed

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According to the CDC, 450 people die each year from falling out of bed.

Bambi

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Called the most dangerous mammal in North America, the white-tailed deer kills 130 people annually in the U.S.

Sex

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Sex can sometimes trigger heart attacks in people with cardiovascular issues, like former U.S. VP Nelson Rockefeller, who reportedly died while having an orgasm.

Mochi

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Around the beginning of the New Year, nine people were reported to have choked to death while eating the tasty Japanese snack.

Beards

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In 1567, a man who was trying to grow the world’s longest beard tripped over his beard and died while trying to escape a fire.

Hot Dogs

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As many as 77 children have died choking on hot dogs, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics.

Dogs

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Last year, there were 32 reported deaths in the U.S. caused by dog attacks, which kills about 30 people on average each year in the country.

Beavers

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In 2013, a man in Belarus tried to snap a picture with a beaver, but the critter bit him in the leg and severed a major artery.

Ants

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This one is especially terrifying, but ants account for about 30 deaths every year. There are more than 280 species of deadly ants and they can sometimes travel in crews of up to 20 million.

Laughter

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The Greek philosopher Chrysippus of Soli is said to have died of laughter while watching a donkey try to eat his figs.

Molasses

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The Boston Molasses Disaster claimed 21 people in 1919 when a molasses storage tank burst and a flood of the sweet, sticky liquid poured through the North End neighborhood of Boston.

Large Bale of Hay

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In 2010, cellist Mike Edwards died when a large bale of hay rolled down a hill and struck his van.