On the 'Homeland' Season Premiere, Everyone's Lives Suck

Brody's on the run. David Estes is dead. Carrie is in (psychological, as well as career) limbo (again). Welcome back to Homeland!

If the mysterious blast wasn't enough to get you pumped for Season 3 of one of the best psychological thrillers on television (if not all of pop culture), the episode opens with Peter Quinn seemingly building a bomb.

The first bits of dialogue have a very managerial-looking Tracy Letts asking Carrie, "How can the CIA be expected to protect this country, if it can't even protect itself?"

And yes, we're reminded why Homeland is such perfect popcorn fodder when someone dies in almost every episode. Like the oldie but goodie "What are you smoking?"

Now that all the lolz and excitement are out of the way, here's how everyone's lives on Homeland are way worse than yours (take that, Thought Catalog think pieces on being a twenty-something):

Brody is seen across the nation as the mastermind behind the explosion.

Rocks are thrown into his family's windows, death threats abound, and even the family's church is saying, Thanks but no thanks. Dana got into a bathtub and slit her wrists and then went to a hospital with groups about taking it "one day at a time".

When she gets out, a swarm of reporters are outside the hospital asking what happened. Ah yes, the good old morality of 24/7 news. So what's a teenage girl to do? Take topless photos of herself and send them to a guy from rehab who looks straight out of a Gus Van Sant movie, duh. Oh, the flirtatious distractions of youth. (She's also telling great jokes like "What did the optimist say when he was jumping off a building? So far so good!")

Saul is now the effective head of the CIA and the president's representative is really pushy on making something happen about the CIA bombing. People don't like to just sit around thinking people got off for their horrible crimes. The babies who won't be able to sleep because the killers are on the loose, Saul! And think of the approval ratings! There's even talk about revoking the charter of the CIA.

The big plan to keep those babies from crying? Kill six bad guys across the world who are wanted for one thing or another. And when Quinn goes after his target, he also kills a little girl in the process. He's not just a pretty face. He has plenty of soul, too. Therefore, he feels really, really sad about it.

Carrie isn't in any better shape. She's more or less in love with a man who is MIA and who the entire country thinks is terrorist #1 of the world. She shows said love with a giant map in her house of all the places Brody could possibly be. And yes, there is that whole inquiry into the CIA over the bombings and she's smack dab in the middle of it—for a bunch of spies, they are not so good at keeping their sex lives a secret.

On top of that, she's racked with guilt at not having preempted the attack on the CIA and is convinced her medication was the reason. So of course she gets off them and goes batty and self-righteous. (Fun times ahead!) But on the bright side, she has hot sex on some stairs with a Brody lookalike. And Saul gets to eat tiramisu when she flips out at him.

When was the last time you got tiramisu?