This Octopus Making An Impossible Escape From A Fishing Boat Will Have You Cheering For Him Despite How Gross This All Is — VIDEO

An octopus named Paul swims in his aquarium on July 9, 2010 at the Sea Life aquarium in Oberhausen, western Germany. Paul, the 'psychic' octopus with a perfect prediction record, decided Spain will win the football World Cup for the first time in their history. The eight-legged oracle, who has become a World Cup sensation by correctly predicting all six Germany games, very quickly plumped for Spain carried live on national German television. AFP PHOTO / PATRIK STOLLARZ (Photo credit should read PATRIK STOLLARZ/AFP/Getty Images)
Source: PATRIK STOLLARZ/AFP/Getty Images

The ocean is an endless mystery. For example, we think we know what fish and other oceanic life consider fair game in the food department. In this Alaskan fishing boat, fishermen think they may have successfully captured a sizeable octopus. In both of these cases there's room for error. In the latter case, there's room to be entirely, hilariously, shamefully wrong. Veteran boater Chance Miller warned his shipmates that the small opening in their boat wasn't too small for their fresh catch to shove its entire body through. In the video footage Miller captured, his on-board colleagues doubted his wild predictions. One even charmingly offered, "That's like trying to get my wife in her wedding dress. It ain't gonna happen." (Side note: You can kind of hear something after that joke which sounds a lot like that man's wife was also present, and likely pretty pissed. Just sayin', if anyone has footage of that, I'll be here waiting.)

Anyway, so this particular badass octopus had zero time to hang out on the deck while en route to someone's dining room table, and thus, reached his ambitious tentacles out toward freedom. Miller narrates the entire epic escape, commenting on the animal's dark orange hue as sign of its considerable annoyance at this whole "having to flee from certain tapas" situation (understandable). Even as a person who definitely would've probably eaten him had he made it to a restaurant near me, I can't help but root for the little dude to make good on his bold start. The whole process is fairly spellbinding.

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I, for one, look forward to whatever instrumental metal score some Internet wizard is sure to synch to the footage at some point. Maybe something extra brooding like the number backing this baby shark's jailbreak? Or maybe it could be softer, more reflective—like this youth with interesting hair's acoustic ditty. Regardless of any of that, I sincerely hope the wife of that one douchey fisherman who made the rude comment doesn't waste one second of her life worrying about fitting into any dress, or what any guy thinks of it.

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