Halloween Costumes for Women: 14 Ideas that Won't Make You Want to Vomit

It’s that time of year again, when we're all under pressure to dream up a brilliant, semi-attractive but not slutty Halloween costume idea by October 31st. NBD, right? Fortunately, women do have costume options beyond “sexy _______." Here are a few of our favorites.

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Melissa Gorga's Book

Because what could be scarier than a tome that instructs wives that it’s good for their husbands to force sex?

Image: Amazon

Tina and Amy

Kevin Winter/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

Grab a blond or brunette friend (whichever you aren’t), don evening gowns, carry around homemade statuettes, and be funnier than all of the dudes in the room.

Image: Getty

Privileged Lady Angst

Buy this shirt, then have a custom screen printing service emblazon “Lean in” on the back. Or use an online service like Customizo or Skreened to print a shirt with “Opt out” on the front and “Lean in” on the back. Want to be extra fancy? Also have a tote bag printed to read, ”It All” and ask people throughout the night whether you have it. Periodically produce baby Snickers from the tote.

The Next Governor of Texas?

Erich Schlegel/Getty Images News/Getty Images

The only things standing between you and a Wendy Davis impression are a light-colored coat and a blonde wig. This ”I Stand With Texas Women” shirt and Davis’ Mizuno fillibustering sneakers would make nice additions to the ensemble, too.

Heisenberg

Plenty of dudes will be dressed as Walter White this year, but can a woman convincingly transform herself into everyone’s favorite chemistry-teacher-turned-meth-lord? Makeup artist and Youtube sensation SmashinBeauty proves that indeed, she can, and she shows you how in this tutorial.

Image: Youtube/SmashinBeauty

Sriracha

Get the shirt here, top it off with a green beanie for a cap, and you’re in business.

Sharknado

Print an 8.5 x 11 version of the poster and affix it to the front of the dress, which can be purchased at the Etsy shop smarmyclothes.

'Game of Thrones' Red Wedding

Find a red lace dress (this one’s BCBG, but an afternoon of thrift store shopping could easily yield a cheaper version) and carry a bouquet.

Image: Bloomingdale’s

Alien from 'Spring Breakers'

White tee, Hawaiian shirt, shades, braids and a fake grill are all easy to obtain. Up to you to bring that Franco je ne sais quoi.

A Strawberry

Simple, cute, and it actually looks comfortable. Get it on Etsy at TheGoodWitchClothing.

The Twitter IPO

Twitter is going public, and it’s expected to IPO with a spookily huge valuation of between $15 and $20 billion. Turn the micropublishing platform’s good fortune into Halloween costume gold with this t-shirt from Zazzle, a felt blue bird hat from Etsy, a pair of blue wings and, to convey exactly how much Jack Dorsey stands to make on this, a dollar sign pendant.

Twitter T-Shirt, $26, Zazzle | Felt Blue Bird Hat, $33, Etsy

Dana Brody

No need to dress up, just be angsty and sad.

Image: Showtime

A Deviled Egg

Meghan Prichard posted this photo of her deviled egg costume on her blog NestMeg. All you need is some white and yellow felt, plus a set of horns and pitchfork from your local costume shop.

Harry Styles at the VMAs

Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

Wear a white or black shirt and a black jacket, slick your hair back, and peel and eat oranges all night long.

Image: Getty