'Bridget Jones' Book Kills Off Wrong Man

Helen Fielding, why would you break our hearts so?! The British author of the beloved Bridget Jones's Diary and Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason is soon releasing her third installment in the Bridget Jones series, which would ostensibly be huge news for any lovers of modern Jane Austen adaptations, lovers of the sight of Renée Zellweger drunkenly singing "All by Myself," or lovers of Colin Firth as dreamy Mark Darcy in the reindeer jumper at the turkey curry buffet, but there's a twist.

In an extract of Fielding's newest Jones book published in the UK's Sunday Times, it's revealed that Bridget is now a WIDOW, which means that her husband Mark Darcy is DEAD, which means that the movie adaptation of Mad About the Boy will NOT co-star Colin Firth, which means there's no point in seeing it, anyway.

Apparently, in this new book, Bridget Jones is a 51-year old widow with two sons and she's dating a much younger man, who is presumably the "boy" from the title. Like I even care anymore. How am I supposed to read the third Bridget book when Darcy is dead?! Will Colin Firth at least be in the film adaptation in brief flashback scenes? That's all that I can hope for at this point.

The worst reality would be if Colin Firth said outright he won't be in any more Bridget Jones movies, but that just seems impossible. He would never do that to us — he's such a kind man. I guess Daniel Cleaver is still around in the third book, which unfortunately means that Hugh Grant will likely reprise his role in the movie version of Mad About the Boy.

Note to Helen Fielding — you killed off the wrong dude.

Image: Miramax