Columbia's Alpha Chi Omega Sorority Handbook Might Make You Run Screaming In The Opposite Direction

BLACKSBURG, VA - APRIL 17: Members of the Kappa Kappa Gamma sorority shed tears for their sister Caitlin Hammaren, 19, of Westtown, New York, during a candlelight vigil attended by thousands on the campus of Virginia Tech April 17, 2007 in Blacksburg, Virginia. Hammaren was one of 33 people who died in a shooting spree on campus the day before. According to police, English major Cho Seung-Hui, 23, a native of South Korea, went on a shooting rampage that left a total of 33 people dead. It was the worst mass shooting in US history. (Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)
Source: Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images News/Getty Images
If you've ever been in a sorority (or even been to college), you know how seriously Rush Week is taken. Jezebel puts out a regular Rush Week feature called Sorority Row, so that you can simultaneously laugh and cringe at the weirdness that are sororities, and this week they are featuring the Alpha Chi Omega sorority chapter at Columbia University. How it works is that they invite members of sororities to submit their crazy Rush Week emails that will then be published as part of the feature. This week, they featured not a letter, but a handbook created by this sorority for what they call Polish Week, where they "cleanse themselves spiritually and emotionally" in preparation for meeting new pledges. 

The handbook is a 30 pages long, so in order to avoid torturing you (you're welcome), we've picked out a few of the highlights (and to be clear, these are the highlights of the highlights chosen by Jezebel).

General Dress Code: 

This dress code is a lot stricter than anything you had to follow during your school days. Here are the general guidelines for apparel that the sorority must adhere to.
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Clothing must be clean, correctly sized, and modest (too-high heels prohibited), so that girls look "classy, fashionable, and approachable." And lest the sisters think they can dress that way without oversight, the handbook says:

Please refrain from removing tags and do not buy anything that is non-returnable. Remember every outfit must go through two dress checks, and we will be photographing your outfits and checking them the day of recruitment!

Beauty:

These chicks are NOT into the low-maintenance look, let's just say.

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Acceptable nail styles include neutrals, pale pinks, and French manicures, and hair must be cleaned, curled, or straightened, because "no natural looks" allowed...Hair must be worn down for philanthropy and development days, but may be worn in a classy up-do for preference."

The sisters of Alpha Chi Omega also seem to have a slight obsession with Vaseline, as they offer about 10 application tips: Use it as lip gloss; to exfoliate lips; to remove eye makeup; to condition lashes; to smooth brows; to soften skin; to prolong perfume's fragrance. Sisters should note, "LITERALLY EVERYTHING VASELINE IS THE ULTIMATE PRODUCT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ITS EXISTENCE."

Got it!

Accessories: 

Apparently only certain types of jewelry are allowed to be worn during the weekend.

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Pearls, gold, simple bracelets and rings ONLY, guys. Says the handbook writer, "If I feel that a piece of jewelry is too loud or does not go along with the day's outfit, I may ask you to remove it." 

Excuses: 

Basically, you're not getting out of any of this unless you're dying — not even having to work a paid internship or an interview for a job that's anything less than full-time is allowed. 
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The handbook says:

You can only miss rounds of recruitment or polish weekend for: class, internships FOR CREDIT (paid internships do not count), verifiable illness of you or an immediate family member, wedding of a family member (or if you are part of the wedding party), and family emergency.

There's even more where that came from — this is a small fraction of the highlights that Jezebel picked out. To read the rest of the rules these sorority sisters have to follow during Polish week (can you imagine what the rest of the year is like?), head over to Jezebel. 

Images: Getty (1), Giphy (4)

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