BREAKING, IMPORTANT NEWS: Lindsay Lohan poorly photoshopped a selfie of herself and put it on Instagram! What a completely shocking, unexpected thing to happen! I mean, who would have ever thought a troubled young woman would succumb to the unrealistic standards for female beauty set by the industry she works in? The Butt Of All Internet Jokes née respected actress (I still love you, LiLo), child-star-turned-emotionally-wrought-adult has recently been recovering from chikungunya, a mosquito borne illness, which "features sudden onset fever usually lasting two to seven days, and joint pains typically lasting weeks or months but sometimes years." Yikes. That sounds like a beast. Get well soon, LiLo! And in the meantime, maybe let someone else edit your Instagrams? Just a thought.
Because obviously, when someone is suffering from a debilitating illness, their Photoshop skills probably wont be up to par—and this latest LiLo offering is solid proof. Lindsay's mirror selfie of her greyhound-like waist has obviously been messed with, as part of the image tilts down where it was altered. You can see it right by her hips, as the bottles on the countertop slope down unnaturally, rather than sitting up straight like they would be. Ugh, this all makes me sad. I'm just going to go ahead and say it: Cady Heron doesn't need Photoshop to be the sexy, badass lady that she is, and it's a terrible shame beautiful, fighting-to-be-healthy women feel like they need to manipulate their bodies this way in order to be seen as attractive. Here's the offending Lindsay Lohan picture:
Here are some other celebrities who need Photoshop lessons if they're going to insist on warping their already awesome bodies:
When I think about how we live in a world in which even Beyoncé isn't perfect enough to fit our standard of beauty, it makes me want to smash everything down. Burn all the make-up counters, destroy all the salons, and just force women to look the way they look and DEAL WITH IT. Something's so deeply wrong with us as a society when perfection isn't even perfect enough, that I think we might just need total anarchy to reset the status quo. Bey is a repeat offender in the bad Instagram stakes, and while many of the photos she obviously manipulated have been deleted from her account, the one above shows a pretty dogy (and woefully unnecessary) fake thigh gap.
2. Kim Kardashian
Why does it come as a surprise that the most manufactured popular media presence in the world manipulates her own image when her image is constantly being manipulated by everyone else? Why, also, does it come as a surprise that Kim Kardashian is not very good at things? You can see Kim's misshapen Photoshop next to her hip on the left, where the doorframe curves in to meet where her waist has been carved out.
3. Britney Spears
Queen Brit apparently photoshopped her waist here, and left the picture frame to her right bent out of shape as a consequence. Because you know, what we should really be concerned about is making even more fun of a woman who survived a mental breakdown and went on to continue CRUSHING her career while raising her sons as a single mother.
4. Miranda Kerr
You should see how hard I'm face-palming now. A model? With a digitally altered photo? WELL I NEVER! Miranda's messed up a few times, and in the photo above you can see the normally straight lines in the carpet curving around the clearly manipulated silhouette of her body.