Jon Stewart Explains Sarah Palin's Speech In Iowa, Or Tries To (OK, He's Just As Lost As You Are) — VIDEO
This Saturday, prominent GOP figures convened in Des Moines, Iowa to make an impression before the state's caucuses in 2016. Several big names showed up to the conservative event, including Ted Cruz, Rick Santorum, Chris Christie, and Donald Trump. But it wouldn't be a complete GOP variety show without its star entertainer, Sarah Palin. The former Alaskan Governor delivered a speech so bizarre that even conservative pundits were giving her the side-eye. Luckily, one person has figured out what the hell she was talking about. Jon Stewart is here to explain Sarah Palin's speech.
At Saturday's summit, Palin first announced to the crowd that she's "seriously interested" in running for president in 2016, and then she launched into a speech that conservative magazine National Review called "meandering and bizarre," and what the rest of us would call "bat-shit crazy."
Here's an excerpt from her verbal diarrhea:
Don't hurt yourself trying to find meaning in there. It's not worth it. Fortunately, Jon Stewart has done the work for us, and his explanation makes a whole lot more sense.
Before diving into the Sarah Palin crazy pool, Stewart highlighted some other key speakers at the event, like Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker. Walker said, "If you're not afraid to go big and go bold, you can actually get results." To which Stewart said, "Isn't that the tagline for Tide? Well, this summit probably does get your whites whiter."
And Mike Huckabee deserves an honorary mention for his own crazy talk, which repeated the metaphor of sausages maybe one too many times. Stewart noted that he was probably just really hungry. Don't forget Trump, who is surprisingly a favorite among Democrats because every time he opens his mouth he reminds the world that he's unelectable.
But it doesn't get more unelectable than the star of the show, who Stewart saves for last, because her speech is the best.
Stewart plays a clip of Palin during her speech and it immediately becomes clear that she may have knocked back one too many spiked Big Gulps. But even so, she was hanging in there for a while until, as Stewart put it, "her subjects stopped talking to her verbs."
Stewart plays the above excerpt of Palin talking about the government and the status quo, and if reading it was already trippy enough, actually hearing her say it makes you feel like you're in a dimly lit jazz club in 1956 breathing in second-hand hash smoke from the other beatniks around you. Because it sounds like she's reading slam poetry.
But it's 2015 and she's making a political speech, so it's a little less OK. In fact, Stewart points out:
And even more aptly:
Just when you think Palin has peaked, she surprises us. In another clip, Palin says:
Stewart, staring in disbelief, comments:
At the end of his segment, Stewart has a revelation about Palin.
Then it cuts to a clip of Matthew McConaughey in his Lincoln ad, then the actor's face gets superimposed with Palin's as she says:
Oh my God. It really is a Lincoln ad. It may not be much, but at least we found some meaning in that nebulous darkness that is Sarah Palin's brain.
Watch the video below.
Images: Comedy Central