Kevin James' New Projects Better Star Some Real Women, For a Change

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Kevin James seems to develop film and TV projects for two reasons: One, So he can star in them and two, so he can get paired up with gorgeous women. Get prepared for even more of those, because James just signed a deal with Lionsgate to produce film and TV projects in which he will also star. Why? Because the world needs a Grown Ups 3, that's why!

But this begs the questions: why do people keep watching these? Are they gluttons for punishment? Because Kevin James projects only have two settings, and that's dully bad and offensively terrible. Not to mention that he never has a love interest more than a third of his size.

It's not like James is traditional Hollywood material, so why doesn't he show some love to any ladies bigger than a size 2? Not only does it make all his movies seem like vanity projects, it makes regular-looking ladies more invisible in Hollywood.

After all, if "regular Joe" doesn't have a real "regular Jane," that means that regular women should look like Amber Valletta and Leah Remini, right? It's unfair to women to keep up these ridiculous standards, and it's unfair to audiences to keep making such unfunny movies. So, in protest, I recommend going to Lionsgate and personally re-enact every fart joke from every Kevin James movie ever made.

Only then will people realize its true stench.