I don't talk about tacos nearly as much as I talk about pizza, but believe you me, I looooove me some tacos. That is why I desperately need to acquire this strange and unnecessary yet absolutely magnificent appliance for my kitchen as soon as possible: It's called the Fiesta Baked Taco Shell Toaster, and it magically transforms tortillas of all types into crunchy, delicious taco shells. You know what having one of these things would mean, right? Yes: Whenever I get a hankering for crunchy tacos (not soft ones), no more of those weird boxed shells that taste like stale Doritos minus the cheese dust for me! All I'll have to is stick a corn or flour tortilla into this contraption, hit the button, and wait. Every day will be Taco Tuesday, and it will be glorious.
The Baked Taco Shell Toaster (which, in my head, is actually "the tortilla taco toaster," due to my deep and abiding love of alliteration) is made by Nostalgia Electronics, a company which seems to specialize in weird appliances designed to poke you right in your "good old days" centers. No one really needs any of them — but I'm willing to bet that most of us wouldn't say no if one of them just happened to end up in our kitchens. This particular one will run you up about $26 on Amazon, which isn't too bad, all things considered.
Of course, you don't necessarily need a whole new appliance just to turn tortillas into crunchy taco shells. My boyfriend, for example, makes what he calls "puffy tacos" by heating up oil in an omelette pan, dropping a corn tortilla in it for a few seconds on each side, and then folding them in half once they hit the plate. (For the record, the shells themselves aren't puffy; the hot oil tends to puff up the tortilla from below when they're in the pan, though. Hence: Puffy tacos.) They're delicious, but because they're heavily steeped in oil and fried, they're also terrible for you. The tortilla taco shell toaster offers a healthier alternative, which is something I can definitely get behind.
Come to think of it a taco shell maker isn't the only ridiculous appliance I'd love to have in the kitchen of my dreams; I'll almost never actually buy these ones in real life, but I'm tickled by the fact that they exist:
1. A Waffle Bowl Maker
There are waffle cone makers, too, but those require the extra step of taking your freshly-made waffle and twirling it around the cone mold. That's too much work. This sucker, though? Perfect waffle bowls — or cookie bowls! — every time. Yes please.
2. This Crazy Breakfast Sandwich Maker Thing
I don't even like breakfast sandwiches, but I would eat one just to use this thing. From what I can tell, it cooks literally everything all at the same time and assembles your sandwich for you. Insanity? Genius? You be the judge.
3. An Old-Timey Popcorn Maker
I also dislike popcorn, but I love the way it smells. I realize there are simpler ways to make your home smell like fresh-popped popcorn, but a scented candle just doesn't have the same visual appeal.
4. A Yogurt Maker
OK, yes, I know homemade yogurt is perfectly doable without a fancy-schmancy machine — but I like that this one makes your yogurt look kind of like it's living in a spaceship. That's awesome.
I mean, it's called Pizzazz. Of course I need it.
6. A Chocolate Fountain
Although I may also need a robot whose sole job is to clean the chocolate fountain, too. Those things are a bitch to unstick.
7. An Olaf Snow Cone Maker
Mostly so I can pretend I'm eating Olaf's disemboweled innards. Why yes, I am an exceedingly bizarre individual; why do you ask?
8. A Hot Dog Toaster
Everything should come in toaster form, as far as I'm concerned.