'Two And A Half Men' & A Lesbian Womanizer

Amber Tamblyn, what happened to your once promising career? Joan of Arcadia wasn't the best, but you're an intelligent, talented woman, who understands, like, the basic concepts of feminism. You edit the poetry section of BUST magazine! Why, oh why, have you just signed on to be a series regular on Two and a Half Men — a Chuck Lorre series that is almost more offensive to women than that other Chuck Lorre show, The Big Bang Theory? Amber, please, why?

Alas, it's true — Tamblyn is now a permanent member of the show, after having just made her first appearance on Two and a Half Men as Charlie Harper's (Charlie Sheen) long-lost illegitimate daughter, Jenny, who is — wait for it — a LESBIAN who is a WOMANIZER. I can just imagine Chuck Lorre and co. in the writers room coming up with Jenny's character. "Wait, I know, we'll make her like chicks! Equal rights! Women can be slutty too! Now we can write in scenes with hot girls making out! LOL, WRITING!" That's exactly how it went. Probably.

Tamblyn's character she showed up at her uncle (Jon Cryer) and random billionaire character's (Ashton Kutcher) doorstep looking for her daddy dearest, Charlie. But Charlie was killed off the show for #winning and shacking up with porn stars like Bree Olsen, so she doesn't find him — but she ends up moving in anyway. Her added presence on the series is said to make up for the loss of the "half" in Two and a Half Men, Angus T. Jones, who last year made a video telling everyone to stop watching the series so it would get canceled.

Two and a Half Men is pretty misogynistic even without a lesbian character who may very well adhere to every single stereotype straight men have about girls who like girls — a.k.a., only what they see in pornos made for men — but with Tamblyn's character, the show is undoubtedly going to reach new levels of grossness. As Jessica Wakeman over at The Frisky put it:

No one expects “Two” to become “Glee,” but when a mainstream show adds a character who is a minority representation, they have a responsibility in their portrayal. Being “proud” and “confident” of one’s identity may be a net positive for any LGBTQ character on TV, of course, and I am certainly not suggesting that every gay character is required to provide an afterschool special style teachable moment about gayness. But there’s so much possibility for Jenny to be more than just another tomcat who happens to have a vagina between her legs. For now I remain skeptical.

That is exactly right — which only makes us hope that the show is more responsible in their portrayal of lesbians than they have been in their portrayal of women.

I hope Two and a Half Men proves us all wrong and actually gives Tamblyn's development past the fact that she's just so happens to like girls — a lesbian woman's plot shouldn't revolve around her gayness, because there is so much more to a person than their sexual preferences — but it likely won't, because this is a show created by a man who once told women to shut up about their periods because "[we're] approaching peak vagina on television, the point of labia saturation." All hope was lost years ago.