Chris Brown Now Supports Gay Rights, So Let's Make Him A Gay Icon As Reward/Punishment

So guess what, everyone? Remember that whole Chris Brown-Is-A-Bigot thing that kicked off when the singer used homophobic slurs on multiple occasions and was the scourge of the general public? Well, it's all over, apparently, because Chris Brown now says you can "Love who u wanna love," in support of his "Unity Campaign," aiming to convince Cameroon's President Paul Biya to combat anti-gay violence. Gay people the world over are probably going, "OH THANK GOD, CHRIS BROWN SANCTIONS MY SEXUALITY, LET'S DO THIS." Goodness knows the LGBT community has been suffering angst over Brown's lack of support. It's been said that the Fortune singer is such a stand-up guy generally, his distinct disapproval of homosexuality has been a huge setback when it comes to public acceptance of our country's new laws on gay marriage.

Oh wait... that's not true. Because we all have brains and it's not news to anyone that Brown's career (and target audience) has been gagging for a revamp since he assaulted Rihanna and essentially flushed his career down the toilet. So now, conveniently enough, Brown has decided that the gays are okay. In fact, they're so okay, that he will go out of his way to help the tired, hungry, yearning to breathe free gay people. How sweet! For his bankability that is.

Yes, the heart and soul of Brown's efforts are admirable — who doesn't want to see change across the world, especially when it comes to stopping violence against homosexuals? But when it's so clearly a PR stunt jumpstarted by an artist who has used gay slurs, it's a bit more difficult to swallow. There is, however, one way to make this little charade work. We must now make Brown the biggest gay icon since Cher or Bette Midler. It's one thing to let your PR team invest some of your money in some charity you don't care about to save face, but quite another to stand, shirtless, before a crown of screaming men and proclaim your support in ringing tones. Playing to a gay audience outside of Twitter would completely change the name of the game — it would allow Brown to put his money where his mouth is for the first time since his legal troubles began.

If he really believes in the rights of gay people in Africa so much, let him stand for the rights of gay people in his home country too. I want guest appearances on RuPaul's Drag Race, appearances put in at the tea dances on Fire Island, and several voluntary remixes of his work done by Hercules and Love Affair, with all benefits going to gay-related charities. He needs to walk in the New York City and San Francisco Pride Parades. Seriously. I don't buy this whole Chris-Brown-for-Equality business, and the only way I can see myself buying into it is if he commits. Chris Brown has done a lot of messed-up things in his life, and if he's going to place his bets on supporting equal rights, well, he better show some serious commitment.

Gay rights aren't a joke, nor are they a tool to be used for self-promotion. So, on the off-chance that this is Chris Brown genuinely turning over a new leaf, then it's a wonderful addition to the movement for equality movement. But if not? Buzz off Chris Brown —the gay community has absolute legends supporting it, they don't need your half-hearted bullshit as well.