12 Reasons to Boycott Valentine's Day And Read All Day Instead
Waking up this morning, I had the same thought I've had every other morning for the last 11 days: Oh joy, it's almost Valentine's Day.While it's marketed as the day of love and a chance to show your significant other how much he or she means to you, there's just so much more about this holiday that sucks a bag of rotten beets. The bad outweighs the good by well... a whole lot.
So what's the best way to avoid an overhyped and extremely crowded event in which you have zero interest in participating? Just stay in and read, that's how. Turning (or swiping) the pages of a book is so much more enjoyable than bumping elbows with sex-eyed couples in a restaurant that is obviously way past capacity, because duh. That sounds like a nightmare.
And getting lost in a brilliantly told story is a breath of fresh air, a day dream, a heavenly escape from everything IRL that's simply the worst. All of your problems like, I really can't afford to pay those prix fixe prices at the local eatery because I lost my job this year and my back account is just a bunch of red transactions, or maybe, my boyfriend dumped me last week and the last thing I need right now is a reminder of how everyone else around me is happily in love. Reading is here to quell all of your Valentine's Day concerns. And here are 12 reasons why:
1. Because Valentine's Day is too expensive
Roses and candy with a 300 percent markup? Ugh. I'll take a new release for a $4.99 instant download, thank you very much.
2. Because one of your NYE resolutions was to read more
Here's your chance! Read all day and you can check the f*ck out of that task box.
3. Because there are so many fictional dreamboats who would make better V-Day dates than any real human could
I mean, Peeta Mellark, Jay Gatsby, and Eric Northman. You don't even have to choose just one to spend the day with. You can have them all.
4. Because it's Saturday
V-Day falls on a Saturday this year, which means spending the entire day in an overstuffed chair and wearing a warm hoodie is not only acceptable, but also expected.
5. Because of this quote:
6. Because you won't need to put on pants
That should be the only reason you need to do (or not do) anything.
7. Because it'll take you all the way back to the glory days of the BOOK IT! program
Remember BOOK IT!? Man, I scored so many free Pizza Hut pizzas for my class back in the day. That's how much time I spent reading. And I also received multiple ribbons and gold stars so.. it's kinda when I peaked.
And it makes me think of this:
8. Because reading is basically a party for your brain
You will be significantly smarter by the end of the day, since your brain gobbles up words and new information like a bowl of Frosted Mini Wheats.
9. Because there are too many people out in the world today
Everywhere you might even consider going to today will be crowded. People are looking to show off their love and they want to do it publicly. Let 'em have today while you stay nestled and cozy far away from it all.
10. Because Valentine's Day is too exclusive
This is a day celebrates couples, essentially. Books celebrate everyone. Books are open-minded and progressive and appreciate being read by single folks just as much as smug marrieds.
11. Because books don't judge you
The day after Valentine's Day is the day when everyone compares plans and gifts from the day before. Then there's always this feeling of, well who has the best gift? Ugh. F*ck that noise. Who cares? Books sure don't.
12. Because your love for reading is eternal, and nothing else can match it
If there's one love you should celebrate today, it's your love for reading. So give your bookcase a giant hug and then hunker down with a tall stack of fictional gems. Ah.... happiness.
Image: Sarah Jessica Parker/HBO; Giphy (13)