He might not get all the ladies, but he's certainly got all the moves. Whether he's testing out his latest business idea or spraying himself with his own Tommy fragrance, Parks and Recreation's Tom Haverford knows how to play it. When he's not pretending to be doing the work of the Parks department along side actual hard-working goverment employee Leslie Knope, Haverford is hitting the streets with his main boy Jean-Ralphio. For the uninitiated, Tommy's got major moves. He dated Ann Perkins for goodness sake.
But we can't all be as fierce on the dance floor or at the club as Tom, and sometimes it's smart to take a few lessons from the master. Haverford, as he constantly reminds us, is eternally dripping with swagger. He owns his own business, Rent-A-Swag, and knows how to appreciate the finer things in life, like the latest technology or a well-placed pocket square. He even invented a brand new, self-appreciating holiday called Treat Yo' Self Day.
So in case you aren't sold on Tommy being the quintessential authority on all things lust and love, here's 13 pick-up lines to try next time your out with your posse.
"Let's make a pact, OK? If we're both still single in an hour, let's get married."
"Hey, boo. Are you aging in reverse? 'Cause you look barely legal"
"Boo-boo bear. It's one of several nicknames I've made up for you. And you can choose which one you like best, 'cause I want this to be a give and take. ...We have cookie tush, Winnie the Boo, lady presh-presh, Annberry sauce, Annie get your boo, Tommy's girl, Annie bananie…"
“I think you sound like an angel, and everyone else sounds like demons.”
"This harvest festival, it's gonna knock your socks off and when it does, I'm gonna be there to give you a foot massage. To completion."
"I’m ready to pull myself up by some G-strings.”
“I have a couple of ‘doing caps’ in my wallet. That’s what I call condoms.”
“The four sweetest words in the English language — ‘You wore me down.'”
"No, I don’t text her, 'It was nice meeting you.' I wait eight weeks and I text her, ‘What's crackin?'"
"Excuse me! Are there any strippers here? Former strippers? Non-dancers but you're feeling a little bit drunk?"
"Yes I am a hunter, and it's you season."
"Hi, I'm [INSERT NAME HERE], I have a raccoon on my head."
"Nice hat, wanna bone? That's you talking to me."
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