Miss USA Claims Crown "Head Dents" Are A Thing

Being a professionally beautiful person is hard AF, you guys. That’s at least part of what I came to understand after reading Miss USA’s’ fashion week interview with the Fug Girls, in which Nia Sanchez decries her crown for giving her a “head dent,” a thing that neither you nor I had any idea even existed. We are the common folk, however, and know little of the afflictions that plague women of pageantry. These are the kinds of things fly over our heads, not dent them.

But there are many other important things we learned from this highly informative interview with Sanchez. For many hours, your mind has toiled over the question of how contestants’ bathing suits avoid riding up and giving the ultimate wedgie to an international audience. Now, dear reader, you finally have your answer. The answer is butt glue (which is discussed in detail over at ABC).

Also, smiling is tiresome work. “Your facial muscles do get really sore after a while,” she tell the Fug Girls. (This is actually a thing. The best alternative is to follow this woman’s sage advice and just avoid smiling altogether.)

Because you’re starved for more nuggets of pageant wisdom, you can head over to Cosmopolitan. Be careful not to strain yourself clicking your mouse.