9 Things Only 'X-Files'-Lovers Will Understand When Reading David Duchovny's Novel 'Holy Cow'

To say that I'm an X-Files fan would be something of an understatement. To say that I learned everything I know about paranoia, crime fighting, and workplace romances from this seminal sci-fi series would be closer to the truth. And the truth, my friends, is out there.

And, speaking of "out there," if you haven't been hitting the book stores hard these past few weeks, you may not have realized that my own beloved Mulder, the delightful David Duchovny, has just released a "modern day dairy tale," the effusive, evocative Holy Cow.

From the concept to the cover, the painfully funny prose, to the unexpected twists and turns, there's a little something for everyone within the pages of Holy Cow. If you're an X-Files fan, however, you're in for something extra. Because I've spent weeks re-watching the entire back catalogue of X-Files episodes with Duchovny's new novel in mind, I found 9 things only X-Files fans will truly appreciate when reading David Duchovny's Holy Cow. Grab your trench coat, and come along:

1. Boredom Leads To Breakthroughs

Anyone who's spent much time with Mulder and Scully will know that sometimes the biggest breakthroughs come when when the daring duo suffering through the stultifying effects of ennui. For the kooky besties who form the beating heart of the Duchovny's Holy Cow, boredom isn't just a source of inspiration, but rather it's the spark that ignites the entire story. That's a charming detail any X-Files fan will enjoy.

2. Awareness Is Everything

Constant vigilance is the only choice for secret agent superstars on the hunt for supernatural evil, and often it is either Mulder's careful observation or Scully's dedicated medical detective work that cracks the case. For Elsie and the her farmyard friends UFOs haven't yet become a concern, but dastardly factory farmers do pose a real threat if the team ever lets down their guard. Staying alert and keeping the focus on the big picture — for secret agents and escaped farm animals alike, making it work when it counts is all about awareness.

3. Theft Can Crack The Case

When Holy Cow's daring protagonist Elsie prepares to fly the proverbial coop with a Jewish pig and a smooth-talking flightless Turkey named Tom (who can pilot a plane even if he can't lift off himself), one of the secrets to the group's success is a set of stolen passwords. And, theft is one things that unites the farmyard escapades and the fieldwork of Mulder and Scully, because as every true X-Files fan knows, when you can't legally extricate the evidence you need, you may just have to steal it.

4. Converts Make The Truest Believers

It took a documentary on factory farming to make a true believer out of Elsie; for Scully, it was an order from above that ultimately lead to a partnership with the office reject and a change of heart for the former forensic pathologist. As any X-Files follower will surely know, it is ultimately the converts who make the truest believers, which Elsie aptly demonstrates as she leads her ragtag team of ruffians across the world in search of harmony in the food system and peace in the Middle East.

5. In The End, It's All About Self-Preservation

For Elsie, the choice to flee the farmyard comes down to a simple equation — stay and die or go and live. So, Elsie makes the obvious choice. Unsurprisingly, life or death moments are just as common in the field, where Mulder and Scully often have to make tough choices to ensure that no matter what happens they live to fight another day. As Elsie jumps the fence, X-File fans will have some choice flashbacks to all those tense moments when Mulder risked it all to save Scully... or vice versa, of course.

6. Searing Pronouncements Are Never Out Of Place

Mulder likes to talk a big game, and he's got a theory for just about everything, much like Elsie, the loud-mouth cow who is both narrator and star of Duchovny's Holy Cow. While Elsie's pronouncements tend to run more towards the pop cultural, genuine X-Files fans will recognize the witty banter from a mile away.

7. The Underdogs Are On The Rise

From the dingy office in the basement of FBI headquarters where X-Files cases are shunned by all but the faithful few, to the farmyard where a quirky band of outsiders make a daring break for it, X-Files-lovers will be delighted by the reminder that in Holy Cow and X-Files alike, the underdogs are fighting their way to the top.

8. It's Not A Coincidence, It's A Conspiracy

At the beating heart of the X-Files lies a dark conspiracy, and the greatest episodes, the craziest plot twists, the most suspenseful moments are all connected back to the mother of all conspiracies. To be a true X-Files fan you have to have a strong and abiding love for the conspiracy theory, so the fact that the story engine motivating all the action of Holy Cow rests with Elsie's earth-shattering discovery of a monumental conspiracy should tickle the fancy of just about every X-Files fan.

9. The Truth Will Set You Free

Throughout every season, Mulder and Scully follow one guiding principle: the truth is out there. For Elsie, it is the truth that sets her free and sends her on a madcap mission around the world, a fact that leads me to believe that Elsie herself might just be an X-Files fan, because every true X-Files fan is always following the truth wherever it may lead.

Image: 20th Century Fox