Mornings are brutal. Your alarm clock is going off, your roommate's cat is jumping on your face, and you keep hitting snooze, dreaming of Sunday. You're too stressed to actually snooze, so you lay there tragically, thinking about all the stuff you have to do before you can leave the house. You're not even out of bed and the day sucks!
We feel you, and we're here to help. Quite honestly, you're too fabulous to suffer in the morning. Or anytime, really. So throw a few of these easy (and painless, we promise!) tricks into your routine. You'll wake up each morning like the heroine in a romantic comedy: perfect soft lighting streaming across your face, miraculously natural makeup, and perfectly tousled bedhead hair. You'll blink sleepily as the crush of your dreams walks in with a hot cup of coffee wearing only boxer briefs, smiling that special smile for you.
See! That's why these hacks are so great. You get to sleep long enough to make it to the sexy morning lovin' part of the dream. It's just a bonus that you'll also learn how to have the hair, the makeup, and the coffee with these little tricks. So go on and get more beauty sleep with 7 morning hacks that will simplify your life.
1. Pre-plan your outfit
Getting dressed before 7am shouldn’t involve thinking. You're overwhelmed by accessories, ankle boot colors, belt widths, and scarf selections. It's a challenge just to leave the house with pants on, much less a put-together look for work. Make life simple and pick out your outfit the night before. This may sound like moves stolen from a kindergartner, but who cares? It works!
From your earrings to your shoes, have it all laid out. If you're not sure you like the look, try it on the night before. Nothing worse than throwing clothes around 10 minutes after work's already started. Super pro moves: place the clothes out in the order you will put them on. That’s right ladies, thong and bra go on top of the pile.
2. Wake up to awesome music
Does anyone even own an alarm clock anymore? Does it matter? With your smartphone, you have the power of technology at your fingertips. Instead of waking up to an annoying buzz, do yourself a favor and spend the $1.99 to buy your favorite song. Wake up grooving like Beyonce instead of dreading the day ahead.
3. Immediate caffeine is the answer
Get ye an instant coffee machine, the likes of Keurig or Nespresso. You'll save money in the long run and save yourself hours of pain not grinding coffee at 6am. With an instant machine, all you do is push a button. Seriously. That's it.
If you insist on purchasing your grounds on the go (aka you have a mad crush on the barista), call your order in as you walk up the block or place a standing order online. Here's how your new morning coffee trip will look: Walk in. Skip past long line. Pick up waiting coffee. Sign autographs. Go. No one has time to brew coffee in the morning. That’s crazy talk.
4. Make your makeup and hair routine easy
Before you go to sleep, create a little order in your beauty kingdom. Straighten the damage wrought by cocktails and Friday night's primping party. That’s right. Be a Zen Buddha Beauty Master. Untangle your hair dryer from all the hot tools jammed under your sink. Make sure all your brushes are clean and in reach. Ain't no one got time to be washing glitter makeup out of brushes before work in the morning.
Switch the products in your makeup area from Saturday night sexed up sparkle to a classy, chic Monday morning Naked Palette. It's all about easy access to what you need so you get out the door without looking like a drunk toddler gave you a makeover.
5. Take it easy
Get you some inner calm, woman. Mornings are frantic. Remember that you're doing awesome in life (really, you are)! Set aside five minutes to get centered with some simple meditation techniques. This may seem counterintuitive to the morning hacks, but taking time to slow down actually creates more space in your life. When you're less stressed, you're more effective, and life is more fun. Another great stress reliever is morning sex. Now you've got two options for inner peace. Or double down for nirvana.
6. Eat on the run
Girl, you need to eat some breakfast! Stick your dang bagel in the toaster the night before. Hard boil some eggs and leave them in the fridge. Buy some individual yogurts. Get some super pro moves and pack a lunch the night before. It's all about keeping it simple so you don't have to go all tornado queen on your kitchen in the morning.
7. Streamline your exit
Put your keys next to your purse. Make sure your metro/bus/work/parking pass is back in your wallet. Print out that form you need for the morning meeting before you go to bed. If it's going to rain, have an umbrella in your bag. Have your gym bag by the door. Pretend you are your own kindergarten student preparing for the first day of school.
So go ahead, simplify your life with these life hacks for your morning routine. You're already drop dead gorgeous, we can't even imagine what you'll look like with more beauty rest on your side. With all this extra time on your hands, you'll soon be employing the morning habits of power players from around the globe. Get ready to take over the world!
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