It's official, guys. It's physically impossible for Kristen Wiig to make a movie that I don't instantly want to see as soon as the trailer premieres, and her latest flick is no different: Based off its first trailer, in Welcome to Me , Wiig plays Alice Klieg, a woman with borderline personality disorder who wins the lottery and wants to use her winnings to fund and star in a talk show that's only about her own life — and from the trailer alone, I can already tell that this is going to be one of Wiig's best roles. And even though the movie (which also stars James Marsden and Joan Cusack) hasn't been released yet, I can already tell that it's going to prove once and for all that Wiig deserves her own talk show.
Okay, so I realize she's playing a character who wants her own talk show, not Wiig herself, but it's really not a bad idea. After all, hasn't Wiig's SNL experience prepped her perfectly for live television? Also, through Alice Krieg's actions in the trailer, it's clear that Welcome to Me would actually make a great real-life show, only about Wiig instead. Don't believe me? There's plenty of proof.
Krieg is a disciple of Oprah.
Of course, I am, too, but seriously. In preparation for this role, Wiig had to memorize Oprah's words: "Everybody comes to our beautiful planet earth to do something great. Something unique. Something that only you were born to do." All you have to do to have a successful talk show is everything Oprah has ever done. Gifts under the seats. Touching segments. Tom Cruise, jumping on a couch. That's all it takes, really.
All she wants to talk about is herself.
Alice Krieg is ready to plop down $15 mil to talk about herself on TV. And if it were Wiig instead, I would totally watch it. Certainly there are a million funny stories Wiig could tell from her career, her childhood, and beyond. It's like if Tina Fey decided to broadcast Bossypants instead of write it. This could be gold.
She wants to come in on a swan boat.
It looks amazing in the movie, so this actually happening in real life would be even better. Could you imagine? A swan boat, guys.
She makes a meatloaf cake.
Obviously, Wiig's talk show would also need a cooking segment with random, scary concoctions she came up with herself but that no one would actually eat. And it would be brilliant and hilarious.
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