Maybe you are an experienced, seasoned spring break ninja — you know all the tricks, have all the secrets at your disposal, and are sometimes tempted to incorporate this ability on your resume, as your "proven history of success" is best illustrated in the form of sun, sand, and booze. On the other side of the coin, maybe you're new to this world of spring breakers — you've seen the B-list movies, dreamt of the margaritas, and this year you're finally going to make it happen. Whatever your situation, there are a few truths when it comes to spring break that you may not be aware of: it's really expensive, it's almost always dramatic, and though it's really difficult to be the drunkest person in the room, somebody you know is going to insist that you try.
Think of spring break as the lion you finally let out of the den. With no more midterms, papers, or classes to hold you down, that big cat you've been doing your best to harness is finally breaking free with reckless, alcohol-infused, sexual abandon. You're in for a wild ride, and you're all about it. So in the spirit of the season, here are a few specific tips that make up your ultimate spring break survival guide.
1. Pair at least half a Dasani with every margarita
Being drunk is only fun until the part where your body gets a long enough break to realize the abuse you've been putting it through. Dehydration is going to exacerbate that hangover tenfold, and has the legitimate potential to ruin your well-deserved break.
2. Keep your ID, passport, and extra cash in a safe place
The nature of spring break is such that you will have a lot of valuable information and assets with you at all times, and (occasionally) absolutely zero sense. This is also a time when people with ill-intent will take advantage of tourists, preying on the ridiculous vacationers in any way possible. I have a friend who got into a taxi with a woman under the pretense of hooking up; when they'd driven an approximate block, the driver stopped and she grabbed his wallet, opened the door, and ran. I kid you not.
3. Don't go home with that guy who already hit on your friend
I say this with your best interest at heart — I'm always taken aback when I see some loser who's hit on a friend migrate to another friend he deduces he has a better chance with and actually score. YOU, my dear, are worth far more than the title of "second choice."
4. Wear sunscreen
I repeat — WEAR. SUNSCREEN. Sunburns are painful and terrible and awful, and they can put a seriously painful damper on your whole entire trip. Even if you aren't going to the beach, if you're spending any time outside in the sun whatsoever, make sure to protect yourself from those harmful UV rays.
5. Remember to always use the buddy system
Keep a friend with you at all times, and if you lose a friend from your group, make it a priority to find her as soon as possible. This is a foreign place with a lot of questionable substances and even more questionable individuals.
6. Don't spend all your money on a nice hotel
Honestly, you'll spend maybe five hours MAX at the hotel the entire trip. All you really need in an accommodation is a good strong door lock and a safe. Other than that, save your money for food, booze, and attractions.
7. Don't be afraid to dance
This is why we get drunk, right? To lose ourselves just a bit, allowing the crazy twerkers resting within us to go wild. It always makes me sad when I see people so in their own heads that they won't let loose. The great thing about break is that not only is absolutely no one watching you, but even if they were they'd be far too boozed up and stimulated to give it a second thought. Also, people who dance without fear of "looking silly" are hot — it demonstrates confidence.
Images: Moyan Brenn/Flickr; Giphy (7)