I Got My Nose Hairs Waxed So You Don't Have To

If there is one thing I don't really think about, it's my nose hairs. I don't see them. I don't touch them. Therefore, I don't usually care about them... until I went for my bimonthly bikini wax last week. My waxer asked if she could wax my nose hairs and I decided hey, why the heck not. I immediately regretted this decision. It turned out to be was a waste of time, unnecessary, and it made my nose run. Like, a lot.

Let me start by saying that I love my waxer. She does a great job, we always BS about what's going on in our lives while she waxes my most intimate parts, and I am totally comfortable around her. Sometimes she'll do my eyebrows or pluck a few errant fuzzies around my upper lip when I am in for my bikini servicing, but oftentimes, I just let her focus on my lady parts.

But last week, as I lay down on her waxing table, I told her to do my brows, since they were in need and I am pretty undiscerning about who waxes my brows, so I try all different places. My waxer elected to groom those babies first. With the unforgiving overhead lights shining down on my face, she went about applying the wax and shaping away.

Out of nowhere, she says, "Hmm... can I wax your nose hairs? They are bothering me."

My immediate reaction was "What nose hairs?" She grabbed a magnifying hand mirror and showed me these offending nose hairs. With that sort of lighting and amplification, and the fact that she was standing over me, looking up my nose, of course she noticed them.

I was like, "ACK!!! OMG! THOSE HAIRS!" Suddenly, I felt like a hideous, hairy creature. The hairs HAD to go.

In reality, it wasn't a lot of hair and they were tiny, but it sure felt like they were long, unruly, and errant when all eyes were on me.

I was under a lot of hairy pressure, OK? So I told her to go for it, even though deep down I didn't really want to do it. May as well try it once, right?

Nose hair waxing consists of coating a thin wood stick with wax and then placing it slightly in the nostril and letting it stay there. She did this for both nostrils and I felt like full-on a walrus. After about 20 seconds, she yanked each stick separately and I was dunzo.

It didn't really hurt at all. Surprisingly, it didn't even make my eyes water

But was it, like, necessary? Not even a little bit. When I got home and inspected my newly waxed nostrils, they looked exactly the same as the always do. The waxing process only removes a few hairs, since nose hairs serve a protective function, like filtering out junk, and the waxing sticks don't get all up in there.

I noticed that my nose was running slightly for much of the night, which I was forewarned about. Runny noses are the worst.

So the fact that I didn't notice any sort of visible difference, that it didn't feel any better, and the fact that it made my nose run a little makes me firm about never waxing my nose hairs again.

Next time I will learn to say "Thanks, but no thanks." I will follow my gut, since it "nose" best.

Images: Christian Schwier/Fotolia; Giphy (4)