The new season of Dancing With the Stars starts on March 16, and it promises to be pretty exciting. It's the show's 20th season, and so it's fitting that the official DWTS cast portraits were taken in front of a glittering gold curtain. It looks like everything is going to be extra fancy this year to commemorate the reality show's two decades on the air.
But even though the stars have a gold backdrop, not everyone can take home the ultimate prize at the end. The Mirror Ball trophy is the gold medal of dancing shows, and these celebs are in it to win it. Only you can't tell that from some of their portraits. It's a show about dancing, and only a few of the pictures actually show the stars busting out any dance moves. There's a surprising number of them just standing there looking pretty for the portrait.
If this was all the judges had to go on, these stars would be doomed. Of course, that's not the way the show works, but that's the way I've decided to operate for today. So I've ranked the portraits according only to what the star is doing in the picture and how I think it will speak to their moves once they hit the floor. (If you want a ranking of their actual skills, go here.)
Here are the 11 pairings, and how I think they'll fare according to their portrait stance from worst to best.
Patti LaBelle - First to Leave
The singer looks like she's leaning on her partner for support. Which is fine, except this is a dancing competition and if she can't stand on her own too, the pair is going to suffer.
Charlotte McKinney
Sorry, but it just looks like she's striking a red carpet pose here. I don't foresee the model's dancing future lasting long.
Willow Shields
The 14-year-old Mockingjay star is the youngest to ever compete on the show, and it's pretty apparent from this picture. She looks like she's taking a prom picture with Mark Ballas. And if that's any indication of her talent, we'll be saying goodbye to her pretty early on because most high schoolers at prom just can't dance.
Suzanne Somers
Hey, at least she kicked her foot up! She probably won't make it to the end, but maybe she'll show off some fancy footwork first.
Robert Herjavec
His stance makes him look like he's only ever slow-danced in his life. Which could work out well for waltz-themed dances. But the Shark Tank star needs more versatility if he's going to win.
Noah Galloway
He may just be standing there, but he is also holding his partner up on his (very strong) arm. Strength can matter in this competition so I'm not counting Noah out right in the beginning.
Redfoo
That's not a complicated dance move he's doing, but he seems to be holding his partner up pretty well. Plus, the singer's showing a lot of enthusiasm. Having a good time on the dance floor can go a long way with the voters at home.
Michael Sam
Look, he's trying so hard! He also looks like he's trying to go to the bathroom (that grimace!) but I'll give the football player credit for putting his thighs to work.
Riker Lynch
That is one high jump. Kudos to the former Glee star. That kind of spirit and energy will keep him in the competition for a long time.
Rumer Willis
Willis has the focus of a winner, just look at that gaze. But also, look at that move she's pulling. She's gonna go far if she's that skilled at the start of the competition.
Nastia Liukin - Winner
A lifetime as a gymnast has helped this Olympian get super flexible. Sorry Rumer Willis, but Nastia is going to walk home the winner this season based on this photo alone. Her lunge is simply deeper and more striking, and that bodes well for her skills on the dance floor.
Images: Craig Sjodin/ABC (11)
