Snapchat Guide To Taking Successful Dick Pics, Courtesy Of One Generous Woman Who Is Doing The Good Work For Mankind — PHOTOS
Self-photographing is an art, particularly when it applies to your genitals. Given considerable room for personal taste in visual stimuli, I'm gonna go ahead and say that genitals, who matter whose, are not the...prettiest parts of a person's body. With that in mind, we have to applaud the people who choose to lay their ugly vulnerability bare via text or Snapchat. It's hard to make a dick pic look anything less than awkward and unappealing, so hey, kudos to you guys for trying to make it work. In the spirit of making dick pics work, one woman has decided to share the time-tested methodology behind the go-to selfie preferred by the sexually minded male in a series of Snapchats titled, “How to take dick pics: A guide by Reece.” Because sexting can be tricky, and there’s certainly more than one way to capture your phavorite phallic phriend.
I, like most people, have something of a tortured relationship with dick pics. I had to delete Snapchat after receiving an influx of what I began referring to as “DickSnaps” from men with whom I no longer have regular correspondence (or sex), an experienced shared by other women I’ve discussed this unsavory occurrence with. But the hilarity behind dick pics is so ingrained in our tech-driven millennial culture that even the Bro Bible reported Reece’s parody, along with additional helpful tips like “manscaping so your donger seems to stand out like the Washington Monument,” and not to be “so erect as to look menacing and scary, be plump enough to impress.” Duly noted.
Reece can appreciate the importance of angle, lighting, and setting. Using her finger to illustrate her expertise in penis pics, she provides a useful manual in six easy-to-follow visual demonstrations.
The Low Angle
Not preferable, but I guess it's certainly dependent on your junk's best angle, ya know, aesthetically.
The Side Profile
The Bird's Eye View
Note how it makes the penis appear shorter in length.
The Straight On
As Elite Daily notes: "I don’t know what happened to Technique Four. We probably shouldn’t talk about it."
The "Let Me Grab My Sack"
Again, not preferable. But, at this point, what even is?
The Counter Flop
"Personal fav." And with that:
Many thanks for your services, Reece.