Kanye West Thinks Kim Kardashian Deserves Star On Walk of Fame & We Totally Agree
Unless you've made a conscious effort to block out any Kanye West news, you surely know about his appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live. The interview was a ratings goldmine, as well as an opportunity for the two to hash out their post-Twitter feud feelings. I thought the interview was perfect, but I found myself punching the air triumphantly when Kanye said, "There’s no way Kim Kardashian shouldn’t have a star on the Walk of Fame. It’s ridiculous old concepts. I’m just gonna give y’all the truth.”
YES!!!!! Kim is one of the most famous people in the world, and the Walk of Fame should honor that. If they're going to have "Fame" in the title of the award, then award famous people. I don't recognize, like, half of the stars on the Walk, but I will fight anyone who says Kim Kardashian will be forgotten in 50 years.
In fact, people will remember The Keeping Up With the Kardashians family-cast for decades to come, too. Every family member deserves their own star on the Walk of Fame. Please see my appeals below:
Kris: For a minute, let us forget about the bummer that is the Bruce and Kris split, and celebrate the pair. Sure, Kris turned her family into pop culture royalty, but we owe her so much for making black lacquer the picture of elegance. When the family ditched their Country Critter-style house from the early seasons of the show for the black-and-white manor we now know and love (and Oprah loves), it was revolutionary. My kitchen boasts ancient, scuffed linoleum chessboard flooring, but I know in my heart that it is classy and timeless because it looks somewhat like Kris's glamorous foyer.
Bruce: Yeah, he won a gold medal. That was really impressive. But you know what is more impressive? He put remote control helicopters on the map. I'm going to assume that RC helicopter sales went through the roof after Bruce first revealed his hobby. I mean, I know my dad bought one. Forget Kanye, Bruce is the real trendsetter.
Khloe: I love Khloe. She's been through a lot lately. It pains me. She should have a star simply because she's the funniest Kardashian. By a mile. Her most important contribution to society and popular culture is her raising camel toe awareness and acceptance. Progress, Kardashian-style!
Kourtney: Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney all say "bible" when they mean "I swear" or "I'm not kidding." However, Kourtney perfected the cadence and inflection. While I believe Kourtney could make "fetch" happen, her dry sense of humor coupled with "bible" is never not verbal perfection. It's a vocal-fried, no-nonsense command that revolutionized communication.
Rob: Perhaps the most deserving of a star, Rob has done so much. He was on Dancing With the Stars, dated a Cheetah Girl, caused Khloe and Lamar to put an alarm on their snack pantry, and popularized chainsaw art. But his most important contribution is his high-end sock line, Arthur George. He breathed much-needed life into the sock industry, capitalizing on the demand for $30 socks. Side note: Last weekend, I thought I saw Rob on Sunset Boulevard sitting in the backseat of a pickup truck. I started shrieking (BECAUSE I'M WELL-ADJUSTED), but then I realized it wasn't him. "Devastated" doesn't begin to cover how I felt.
Scott: Does the Walk of Fame hand out stars for "most improved human"? I'm going to err on the side of reason and assume that they do, and declare Scott Disick The Most Improved Human In History. On another note: the ongoing "Todd Kraines" prank was star-material.
Mason: That picture of him holding Mercy the cat (RIP) belongs in the Smithsonian. He deserves a star for being so damn cute 24/7.
Penelope & North : To uphold the integrity of the Walk of Fame, I've gotta admit something: the world hasn't seen enough from these two to award stars. The requirements are fairly tough to meet (as evidenced by the otherworldly accomplishments of their family members). Both will earn it eventually. Come on, it's in their genes.
Kendall & Kylie: The Walk of Fame committee obviously hasn't heard their pee rap. The pee rap is a song they wrote for Kris. If your mom was afraid to number one in public, would you think to compose a song to help her get over her fear? No, because you're not a genius like Kendall or Kylie. Highlights of the song include the line: "I've been peeing since the day of birth/But my mama uncomfortable to urinate on this earth." Hi, Poetry? This is Kristie. Yeah, you've been reinvented by the Jenner girls. Hope that's cool.
Brody: Uh, hi, The HILLS. And Princes of Malibu. But THE HILLS. He's been on reality television for almost a decade. And he is infinitely more grounded than Vicki Gunvalson. Good for him! Such an accomplishment. Screw it, let him leave his handprints in front of the TCL Chinese Theatre.
Brandon & Leah: Leah didn't name-drop her dad (he was in the Eagles) until like, halfway through her first season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, and that's mighty commendable. Give her a star! Brandon was on Princes of Malibu, too. He survived Spencer Pratt. Give him a star!
Lamar: I don't want to talk about the sad Lamar news, so let's focus on the positives. Yeah, he's had a successful basketball career, but like, LAMAR'S DENTIST VISIT WAS EVERYTHING. And he enjoys candy as much as I do. WINNER.
B-Hop: AUGHHHH he's an adorable dog, and that should be enough.
Images: E! Online, Kim Kardashian, Khloe Kardashian