Squidward On 'Spongebob Squarepants' Isn't Actually A Squid & It's Like Our Entire Childhood Was A Lie

If you were a Spongebob Squarepants fan growing up (or are one now — absolutely no judgements there) then you know that most of the characters on the series share names with the sea life that they embodies. Spongebob, is, naturally, a sea sponge. Patrick Star is a starfish. Mr. Krabs is a crab. And Squidward Tentacles is a squid... right? Wrong. As Buzzfeed reported on Tuesday, Spongebob Squarepants' Squidward actually isn't a squid — he's an octopus. According to creator Stephen Hillenburg, the team chose to make Squidward an octopus because he liked the look of the sea creature's head. "Squidward thinks he's an intellectual," Hellenberg says in the video. "So, of course, he's going to have a large, bulbous head." 

Consider the mind inside of my decidedly non-bulbous head blown.  

I can't help but feel slightly deceived by the design team over on Spongebob Squarepants. Here I was thinking that all of the character names matched up perfectly with their chosen animals, when, in reality, some of them were simply connected to the animals that featured some of their features. (Hey, at least the show got the "Tentacles" part right.") And it's not just Spongebob Squarepants that decided to confuse everyone with an animal swap, lest we forget the fact that Hello Kitty isn't actually a cat at all, but a human girl. (Seriously... WTF.)

The Spongebob reveal has made me question everything, but at least we have some animals that are exactly what we expected. Or do we? Here's what I'm just waiting for the world to reveal so everything I know can officially be a lie:

Mickey Mouse is actually a round-eared rabbit. 

Remember Catdog? Cat is a dog. Dog is a cat. 

Tiana from The Princess and The Frog actually macks on a gecko. 

Dumbo is just a genetically-modified rhino. 

Simba is really the tiger king. 

Donald Duck is a goose. 

The babies on Rugrats are actually puppies. 

Don't do us like that, TV. 

Images: Nickelodeon; Giphy (7)

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