Have you ever wondered if your attitudes on sex differ from your boyfriend's? Cosmopolitan partnered with Esquire and Survey Monkey to conduct a survey on what men and women think about sex. They asked 2,000 participants about what's okay and not okay on everything from chivalry to sexual assault. Although stereotypes usually suggest that men are from Mars and women are from Venus when it comes to their approach to sexuality, men and women agreed on most issues presented in the survey. So, we might not be that different after all!
However, not everything is coming up roses: Men's attitudes and experiences with rape and sexual assault might surprise you, but not in a good way. Men are a lot less likely to believe sexual assault survivors who come forward than women; only 49 percent proclaimed belief by principal versus the 66 percent of women who did. However, this doesn't show the entire picture. Cosmo also asked respondents whether, if they accused someone of rape, they thought they would be believed — and while 80 percent of women said yes, only 61 percent of men said the same. Could it be that men are less likely to believe victims because they feel less likely to be believed themselves? The answer, at least according to this survey, seems to suggest this possibility.
The magazine reported the findings in an infographic, but we've listed some of the other significant findings here. If you want to check out the full results of the survey, head over to Cosmo.
1. Dating and Sex Differences
Although most of these differences are slight, men and women have different ideas about hooking up. For instance, when participants were given the hypothetical situation of a man and a woman going home together after a date, 50 percent of women said that means you're getting laid, versus 64 percent of men. In terms of when it's appropriate to first have sex, 37 percent of women filled in some semblance to the effect of of whenever both parties were ready, but only 27 percent of men said something similar. Men were more likely to quantify this numerically, as 18 percent said after the first, second, or third date compared to only seven percent of their female counterparts.
2. Gender and Sexting
When it comes to sending sexy pics, women are a lot more likely to send them and men are more likely to receive them. In the survey, 60 percent of men and women received naked pictures, but only 36 percent of men have taken a dirty picture (versus 51 percent of women). Most of us are sending sexts to our partners, though, as 85 percent of women said they sent them to a significant other. However, only 64 percent of men said the same, with 26 percent saying they've sent them to a crush. Interestingly, research from Match.com found that receiving sexy pictures is a big turnoff for women, so you might want to lay off the naked pictures, guys.
3. Who's a Feminist?
The survey also asked the men and women if they were feminists, and there's good news and bad news. The good news is that 51 percent of women — that is, the majority, although slight — identified as such. The bad news is that only 29 percent of men said the same. Other research points to much lower data points, as a HuffPost/YouGov 2013 survey found that just 23 percent of women and 16 percent of men called themselves the f-word. A 2005 New York Times poll found that 24 percent of women and 14 percent of men identified as feminists. Perhaps the difference in the numbers reflects the changing times though, as feminism has become quite trendy in the last year.
4. Chivalry Isn't Dead
Cosmo also asked the men and women about chivalry, particularly in regards to door holding — a topic often brought up during discussions of modern-day feminism. When the magazine asked survey takers whether a man holding a door open for a woman is sexist or chivalrous, a whopping 97 percent of men and women said the act was chivalrous, perhaps ending that debate once a for all. My take is that while holding a door open for a woman isn't inherently misogynistic, doing such because she's a woman or because you consider her to be weaker, makes it sexist.
If you want to check out the other findings or see the full infographic, head on over to Cosmo.