Spencer Pratt's Comments on Lauren Conrad's Engagement Are Absolutely Shocking

Did you feel a mysterious chill yesterday? That was the underworld freezing over after Spencer Pratt congratulated Lauren Conrad on her engagement to William Tell. You read that correctly. No need to get your eyes-to-brain processor checked. LC's sworn nemesis and former The Hills costar told Life & Style, "Heidi and I both feel very sincerely that Lauren deserves to find happiness. We wish her all the best." I keep re-reading that statement, hoping to find a thinly-veiled reference to the LC/Jason Wahler sex tape rumor. Nothing. Spencer even uses her real name, something he never did on The Hills (every time he said "LC," his eyes would flicker to a sinister shade of red).

Lauren may have attended the Speidi ceremony (I'm sure The Hills producers had nothing to do with it, and Lauren's love for Heidi is what truly fueled that decision), and initially, I wouldn't have bet peanuts on the gruesome twosome to receiving an invitation to the Conrad/Tell wedding. However... stranger things have happened (see: Spencer congratulating Lauren on her engagement), and now I'm questioning reality.

We live in a world where Spencer is kind. Wait. Wait. Wait. We all saw that alternate series finale of The Hills (if you didn't, FOR SHAME). The entire show was a big hoax. A ruse. a joke on us. What if, work with me, Spencer the Human has been a nice guy all along? And Spencer the Character is the true beast?

Unfortunately, his off-camera persona doesn't corroborate that hypothesis. UNLESS, it was all to promote The Hills, The Princes of Malibu, I'm a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here!, and Celebrity Big Brother. Now that he isn't doing reality TV, he can be as wonderful and gracious as comes naturally!

…Hmm. I like this theory, but none of it explains why Heidi would've undergone all of those very drastic and very real plastic surgeries. Perhaps she's the methodiest method actor. That must be it. Or! Heidi the Character is Heidi the Human, and everything is as sad as we thought.

Sorry to get all philosophical on you. Carry on.