What Would Be On Batman's Twitter?

by Kadeen Griffiths

The interesting thing about the world of Gotham is that it's a timeless city, which means that there are so many anachronistic items all thrown into this melting pot of time periods that it's impossible to ascribe it to any one era. Which is why everyone has cellphones, but the computers all look too ancient to have discovered Twitter yet. And that's a shame, because I feel like the characters of Gotham would all really benefit from having a social media platform to express themselves. Hey, maybe Bruce would never have to grow up to be Batman if he had a few more Facebook friends, you know?

Thus, the responsibility fell onto my shoulders to imagine what social media platforms the Gotham characters would have, if in fact they had social media platforms. There's Twitter and Facebook, Tumblr and Instagram, and a dozen other websites between to choose from. What would the future Batman tweet about? What kind of pictures would Harvey Bullock post? Well, to be honest, I don't see Bruce as much of a Twitter user nor Harvey as the type to take a selfie.

But if you want to know what kind of social media personality I believe these characters, and more, have, then read on.

1. Fish Mooney

Social Media Platform: Twitter.

What She Posts: 140 characters is the perfect platform for Fish to share her hilarious wit with the world. Not only is she an avid poster of double entendres (usually concerning someone she murdered earlier that day), but she's also following literally everyone who has a Twitter on Twitter. She does so hate to be uninformed.

2. Oswald Cobblepot

Social Media Platform: Facebook.

What He Posts: Oswald "Penguin" Cobblepot has a lot of Facebook friends. A lot of Facebook friends. And even people who aren't his Facebook friend yet might find a friend request sitting in their inbox the moment they seem of use or interest to him. He's a social networking master, that one, and he sounds a lot more eloquent over text than he does face-to-face.

3. Selina Kyle

Social Media Platform: Twitter.

What She Posts: Selina doesn't actually tweet that much to be honest. In all likelihood, she hasn't even hit 100 tweets yet. Mostly, she uses her Twitter to watch people, because they have the strangest habit of tweeting their location, interests, valuables, and all of that good stuff right there where anyone could read. As far as Selina is concerned, if you share it with the world then it is hers to steal.

4. Ed Nygma

Social Media Platform: Tumblr.

What He Posts: Ed's entire Tumblr is devoted to either posting riddles, reblogging riddles, or posting pictures of Kristen Kringle that he took while standing in the doorway of her workspace. In most of the pictures, she is swinging a hand at the camera and screaming at him to get out. Many anonymous users have asked when the wedding will be.

5. Leslie Thompkins

Social Media Platform: Facebook.

What She Posts: Leslie is a social creature by nature and that is reflected in her Facebook; she doesn't have an insane amount of Facebook friends, though her list is loaded down with a few co-workers and acquaintances, and she loves to post selfies of herself out on the town or having fun. She's that girl who would post pictures of her cats, if she had cats, and who hits the "like" button on a photo in your album from two years ago.

6. Barbara Kean

Social Media Platform: Instagram.

What She Posts: To be honest, Barbara doesn't even remember most of the photos that she has on her Instagram because many of them were taken on drunken nights out. However, she does have the world's sweetest collection of photos of Jim because she was the only reason he would sit still long enough to take a selfie. She also takes a lot of pictures of landscapes and sunrises and her food. She is totally the girl who posts pictures of her food.

7. Harvey Bullock

Social Media Platform: Twitter.

What He Posts: Harvey loves Twitter, and Twitter loves him right back. His feed is packed with his witty observations, and witty observations that he retweeted from other people. He follows as many people as he has followers, and he can often be found direct messaging them for favors or for kicks — because Harvey is also a huge Twitter troll. After all, long hours at the GCPD would drive anyone crazy without a way to let off steam.

8. Alfred Pennyworth

Social Media Platform: Facebook.

What He Posts: Alfred's Facebook is firmly set to private, and he is only friends with family members and trusted friends. He doesn't post very much personal information or pictures, however. He mainly uses it to keep in touch with his family across the pond, and to like baby pictures that his friends post as they start their families.

9. Harvey Dent

Social Media Platform: All of them.

What He Posts: Harvey is very hip to what the kids are doing these days, and maintaining a strong-but-fun social media platform will help him pull in the youth vote if he ever decides to run for office. He mostly posts or tweets about The Issues, with the occasional meme or macro thrown in there to make him seem like a fun guy. Usually it's a toss-up over what kind of mood he's in.

10. Bruce Wayne

Social Media Platform: LinkedIn.

What He Posts: Let's be real. What does Bruce Wayne need social media for at this age? But if he wants the board at Wayne Enterprises to take him seriously as their future boss, he has to start building that LinkedIn profile from now. It's never too early to build your future.

11. Jim Gordon

Social Media Platform: Facebook.

What He Posts: To be perfectly honest, Jim's entire profile is set to the most private private setting that it can possibly be. And, to be even more honest, he didn't even completely fill out the profile. All right, cards on the table, Barbara made the Facebook page for him, and he has never used it, and has probably forgotten it exists.

Image: Jessica Miglio/FOX (11); FOX