News
Naked Man Terrorizes His Community
Remember when Ugly Naked Guy was an unlimited source of entertainment for his across-the-way neighbors at Monica's apartment on Friends? (Side note: Did you ever wonder if there were other friends in other apartments also contemplating poking Ugly Naked Guy with a giant device?) Well, this guy is nothing like Ugly Naked Guy, aside from the fact that he is naked and a guy (I can't speak to the ugly, the pictures are pretty blurry). A naked man in Charlotte, NC has been terrorizing his community by maintaining what seems to be a constant state of nudity while in plain view of his neighbors—and police are powerless to do anything about it, despite complaints over the last TEN YEARS.
No one can stop Ol' Free-Ball Freddy (I assume that's his name) since, technically, the man isn't doing anything wrong. Being naked in your own home isn't crime. And if they decide to make it one... We'll come on over and arrest me! The nudity, allegedly carrying on for ten years, however, is a nuisance to the community because the man often opens his front door naked, and stands in a street-facing window in his birthday suit while chatting on his cell. (I sincerely hope he's doing something world-changing like negotiating peace in the Middle East, because I can't wait to write THAT headline.) The neighbors aren't going to stand for it, peace or no peace, and are banding together of late in order to draw the behavior to the police's attention.
I mean, I get it. If I had a young child, I wouldn't want her playing in the street in plain view of a strange (or familiar) man's penis. Meanwhile, penises look pretty stupid, so I'm not all that in favor of seeing them in every day life either. Hopefully Troublesome Naked Guy and the community can come to an agreement, whereby he's allowed his nudity but maybe adopts a fig leaf when he comes in full view of the street.
Because now I can't stop thinking about him, here's a brief tribute to the best naked guy there is, Ugly Naked Guy, and all the truly weird shit he did in his apartment:
