13 Reasons The Friends You Make In Line For The Bar Bathroom Are The Realest
Foraging friendships as an adult is typically awkward. It's a mission lubed up with ridiculous activities like joining a knitting club that meets at a kombucha bar, or trying to smile at cool-looking people at the record store also perusing the twee section, or pretending intramural soccer is anything other than a total anxiety attack to you. Just kidding — some of that stuff can be fun sometimes (besides the soccer, gross). Any excuse to broaden your healthy, creative interests is a good one, but let's be real: what's a more likely event and locale to find you? Drinking? At a bar? Bonus: this activity in particular suggests you bring a safety net of previously-bonded ("captured") friends along for the ride.
Anyway, what I'm saying here is that they're great — those friends chilling in the sticky vinyl booth scrolling through Instagram while you poorly attempt to gallop to the restroom — but they're not as great as the people you meet in line to take a pee. Those are the strong friendships, ready and raring and ripe and... fine, I'm out of R-words here. These people already queued and barreling up behind you have true, lasting companionship potential. Sure, it starts with your synchronized bladders (things in common!) but it doesn't end there:
There's no ego
You both probably look dressed to the nines if you squint your eyes hard enough. However, there's no snobbery keeping you two apart. The approaching part is easy because — well — you're already trapped in line and your phone battery is low and their top is cute.
Honesty happens easily
This might circle back to the lack of ego thing, but talking openly with them requires zero effort. You feel comfortable immediately sharing your initial hesitation with these leggings, but they agree — stretchy French fry leggings were a good (albeit bold) choice.
You're pretty sure they're practically a professional therapist
When honesty surpasses surface details, they offer pure sage advice about how to handle setting barriers with a fresh ex. Deleting the ex's number, you say? GENIUS. Following up with an extra order of hush puppies at the bar? I LOVE YOU.
You share duties as cheerleaders for each other's goals
Especially when those goals mean chatting up cuties lingering with Zippo lighters out front or sneaking a vape pen out from the stall back into the booth.
Was anyone ELSE going to alert you to your rapidly purpling mouth (#redwineproblems)? Maybe, but you couldn't hear them outside the holy quiet of the bathroom line. REGARDLESS, now you know thanks to this brilliant human you just found and will likely treasure forever.
They let you use their lip gloss
To help at least pump the brakes on that previously mentioned mouth-purpling.
They like shiraz, too!!!!!
Yet their mouth is somehow way less purple than yours. They clearly know all the brilliant, masterful secrets of the wino universe. And they said they'd teach you also!
This is fate and there's no point fighting it. You two were meant to be best friends — maybe even 5ever.
They're hella poised
You miiight have a tiny crush on this new friend already...?
They're on your level
And it's a pretty good one, TBH.
They're down for another round
Y'all don't judge each other, period
You do, however, experience swift comfort in helping each other hide renegade bra straps or untuck skirts from underwear. These things happen but it's all good, baybaaay.
...but other people are fair game
Did you see that girl who straight up forgot all the words to "Shake It Off" during karaoke? LOL.
Hey, I mean. I said "most real" not "most polite" or "good" people. Girl, let's go grab another basket of tots then blow this joint. Then I'll text you so you have my number and I'll save you as "Kimmy Shiraz SCANDAL!!!!!" because obvs I'm gonna wake tomorrow sans mega-tannic-acid hangover, and we are gonna do this again next weekend and the one after that and the rest of the weekends until we both die of old age. <333 It is Kim, right?