I don't need to tell you that Justin Bieber recently picked up a new puppy. (If you don't follow him on Instagram, congratulations on your self-respect, and just know that I do it in the name of Science. With a capital "S".) Her name is Esther, and she appears to be a Yorkshire Terrier who enjoys riding around in the crook of Bieber's tattooed arm, but that's pretty much all we know about her so far. We have no idea whether she was a rescue, or if Bieber got her from a pet store, or if he just found her tied up outside a restaurant and carried her away. So in the absence of all that information, we have to turn to the past to see if we can glean some hints about this adorable little love nugget's future. (Clearly speaking about Esther. Bieber is in no world a love nugget.)
And I have some bad news, you guys — Esther's future does not look so bright! If you're aware of Bieber and his movements around the world at all, you'll know he has a pretty known track record for hanging the humans in his life out to dry (cc Lil Twist, Selena Gomez, etc.), but did you know he also extends that lack of courtesy to helpless animals? What a gem! I'm not saying he will ultimately abandon this adorable little puppy, but if he does, it would be far from the first time that he's failed a pet. Here's a comprehensive timeline of every time he's dropped the ball.
Bieber acquires a Russian dwarf hamster, which he names Pac and promises to bring to every meet-and-greet on his tour.
Bieber's done with ol' Pac now, please and thank you, and gives the hamster to a random fan at one of said meet-and-greets, cage and all. His exact words were, "That's all you, you gotta take care of Pac," as the girl screamed back "I WILL TAKE CARE OF HIM!!!!"
Pac dies. To be fair, it sounds like the fan, Tori McClure, fulfilled her promise to take care of him, but by the time she took him to the vet for worrisome hair loss, it was already too late.
Bieber gets a capuchin monkey named Mally, likely from the black market, already not great, and promptly abandons him in an airport in Munich. Bieber had been trying to sneak him through customs without anyone noticing (LOLOLOLOL), and when Mally was confiscated, Bieber never returned to retrieve him or even to pay the $8,000 in veterinary bills to care for the (allegedly) mistreated and neglected monkey. Mally currently lives in a German zoo where he finally gets to be the only poop-throwing primate around. (Do you get it?)
Unwilling to end his streak of pet mishaps, Bieber buys a bulldog named Petey from a pet store in Canada on a whim. At this point, he's so notorious for being a less-than-stellar pet owner that PETA activists actually protests. Always a great sign when you get a preemptive strike for animal neglect upon your purchase of said animal.
Justin's father Jeremy Bieber is accused of throwing the bulldog, by now re-named Karma, off a second-floor balcony into a snowbank after he supposedly bit Justin's half-brother Jaxon. Seems like the tree doesn't fall far from the apple, huh? And in case you're wondering how abandonment figures into this one, it's because the only reason we found out about the balcony incident was through a dog trainer named Trevor Dvernichuk, who was given the dog and tasked with socializing it for the Biebers. Only problem is, he still had Karma, and the family had shown absolutely no interest in getting him back. There it is.
So now it's the present, and Bieber has been spotted with the aforementioned Yorkie, Esther, a brand new pet. The world watches, waits. Dares to dream that he's somehow changed his ways. Hopes for the best, but fears the worst.
Sigh. You know we'll keep you posted.
Images: Instagram; giphy (3)